06-28-2015, 08:37 PM
Day 36
It feels like I’ve hit the summit after a very long climb up a very rocky and rough mountain path.
Reflecting back on the past month made me realize how long I’ve held some issues. The fact that many of them have been with me for many years it’s a little crazy that I can reflect now and know that I am getting over it all.
I spoke to my ex girlfriend the other day, and I was able to speak to her casually as if she was just a friend and not someone I have history with. There was no tension even though I know she’s already with another guy. It just doesn’t matter lol I spoke to her because she’s trying to land a job in an industry one of my businesses happens to be in. I already rejected her from working with me (she asked) and I told her basic stuff so that she could pass the barrier to entry interviews with some reputable companies. This just so she has some sort of leg-up into the industry, because I know she’s not getting in without my help lol
It might be odd that I’m helping her so much, but I’d really just like her to do well. Setting the past bull crap aside, let’s just be adults. She asked for my help and where others who might have some emotional baggage and seize up flashing the middle finger, I just help her out. Why not? We weren’t meant for each other so we’ll find a better path. Seriously, why not?
Even at just 5 weeks into LTU, I’m not the same person I was before I started. I see that now more than ever. 5 continuous weeks of inner peace and a nice unshakeable feeling that everything will be okay. I mean, how do you quantify or put a price on that?
On a side note I have paid off one of my problem credit cards. I didn’t think that would happen until the end of the year, but some extra cash came my way so that’s no longer an issue. Mini-celebration there
I have noticed that I’ve been attracting money randomly. Small occurrences like cashiers giving me the wrong change (didn’t noticed until I got home; unfolded the paper bills and saw I had more than I should have) or over budgeting for certain things which all led to having more $$$ in hand. I’ve also been fortunate/lucky/whatever to find high quality alternatives to things I wanted. I was looking for a particular thing to help my writing which cost $200 per project, but found an incredibly nice alternative which allows unlimited projects for an annual rate $150. I had a huge smile after coming across that gem.
For the last few days of the week I felt the most resistance; namely tension in arms, chest and neck when I’d consumed coffee. Though in the past I have felt a tiny bit of restlessness when buzzed off of coffee, the effect is more pronounced now. I might just cut coffee entirely out of my diet since I no longer feel it gives me any pep or concentration benefits. I’m hoping this turns out to be a very positive lifestyle shift/sacrifice as I really enjoy drinking coffee. All for the best, I suppose.
Right now I’m focusing on my publishing business more and writing a lot more (2,000 – 4,000 words daily) but there just isn’t the raw motivation to get stuff done that I’d like. I’m not saying LTU is inadequate in anyway, it’s just that I think I’m starting to see the limits of what it’s intended to do. Motivation to get stuff done and seizing the day just aren’t there so to speak, but that’s completely fine, for now.
That’s why I think I can do some serious damage with BASE in the coming months. As I allow myself to be more in emotional control and feel the general maturity in my overall character enhance, this will likely be the ideal if not perfect foundation for me to spring off of to use BASE.
I’m having the rising thought of cutting LTU at 2 months use just so I can start with BASE earlier, but this undercuts the further effects that LTU can have on me, and I don’t want to hinder that. So we’ll see. Week by week, we will see.
It feels like I’ve hit the summit after a very long climb up a very rocky and rough mountain path.
Reflecting back on the past month made me realize how long I’ve held some issues. The fact that many of them have been with me for many years it’s a little crazy that I can reflect now and know that I am getting over it all.
I spoke to my ex girlfriend the other day, and I was able to speak to her casually as if she was just a friend and not someone I have history with. There was no tension even though I know she’s already with another guy. It just doesn’t matter lol I spoke to her because she’s trying to land a job in an industry one of my businesses happens to be in. I already rejected her from working with me (she asked) and I told her basic stuff so that she could pass the barrier to entry interviews with some reputable companies. This just so she has some sort of leg-up into the industry, because I know she’s not getting in without my help lol
It might be odd that I’m helping her so much, but I’d really just like her to do well. Setting the past bull crap aside, let’s just be adults. She asked for my help and where others who might have some emotional baggage and seize up flashing the middle finger, I just help her out. Why not? We weren’t meant for each other so we’ll find a better path. Seriously, why not?
Even at just 5 weeks into LTU, I’m not the same person I was before I started. I see that now more than ever. 5 continuous weeks of inner peace and a nice unshakeable feeling that everything will be okay. I mean, how do you quantify or put a price on that?
On a side note I have paid off one of my problem credit cards. I didn’t think that would happen until the end of the year, but some extra cash came my way so that’s no longer an issue. Mini-celebration there
I have noticed that I’ve been attracting money randomly. Small occurrences like cashiers giving me the wrong change (didn’t noticed until I got home; unfolded the paper bills and saw I had more than I should have) or over budgeting for certain things which all led to having more $$$ in hand. I’ve also been fortunate/lucky/whatever to find high quality alternatives to things I wanted. I was looking for a particular thing to help my writing which cost $200 per project, but found an incredibly nice alternative which allows unlimited projects for an annual rate $150. I had a huge smile after coming across that gem.
For the last few days of the week I felt the most resistance; namely tension in arms, chest and neck when I’d consumed coffee. Though in the past I have felt a tiny bit of restlessness when buzzed off of coffee, the effect is more pronounced now. I might just cut coffee entirely out of my diet since I no longer feel it gives me any pep or concentration benefits. I’m hoping this turns out to be a very positive lifestyle shift/sacrifice as I really enjoy drinking coffee. All for the best, I suppose.
Right now I’m focusing on my publishing business more and writing a lot more (2,000 – 4,000 words daily) but there just isn’t the raw motivation to get stuff done that I’d like. I’m not saying LTU is inadequate in anyway, it’s just that I think I’m starting to see the limits of what it’s intended to do. Motivation to get stuff done and seizing the day just aren’t there so to speak, but that’s completely fine, for now.
That’s why I think I can do some serious damage with BASE in the coming months. As I allow myself to be more in emotional control and feel the general maturity in my overall character enhance, this will likely be the ideal if not perfect foundation for me to spring off of to use BASE.
I’m having the rising thought of cutting LTU at 2 months use just so I can start with BASE earlier, but this undercuts the further effects that LTU can have on me, and I don’t want to hinder that. So we’ll see. Week by week, we will see.
