06-03-2015, 09:31 PM
(06-03-2015, 08:56 PM)heavysm Wrote: Ok, I intended to only do weekly replies, but I've just had a mini revelation about resistance I've been dealing with.
Last night a police car parked outside my house. He didn't get out or anything, but he was just sitting there for a while doing whatever. That in itself is insignificant; it's just a cop randomly parked after all.
At that time, however, I didn't react neutrally at all. I was panicked and afraid. I had an incredible burst of fear that i would be arrested and that I would have to spend a few days away from home and my business.
The thing is, that's completely irrational. I haven't done anything remotely illegal and it was a deep subconscious belief (fear, more like) of being arrested that literally "arrested" me emotionally with crippling fear.
I didn't think of that has being something i need to release on, but it's coming up now and I definitely need to let that go. Hell, I didn't even consider that a problem but LTU seems to be pulling that up as resistance to be let go and I'm tremendously glad it's happening.
I can't even describe how enlightening it is to know that I'm finally in the process of releasing that crap. I'm generally not a fearful person (I'm pretty neutral about death/dying) but I suppose watching family members actively get arrested while I was younger, and the horrible experiences those times had been, really sank in for me.
Just to be safe I also did a warrant check on myself just to be 1000% this was all irrational. I guess I'm not a criminal after all. It's time to let go.
If you are in America, we are programmed to fear police even when we have done nothing, but for good reason because they won't hesitate to kill you even if you have done nothing.
