Question for Shannon About AM/SM

[Shannon]

[quote='Shannon' pid='75652' dateline='1431999901']
What you believe inwardly, you make real outwardly. This is almost entirely done at a subconscious level. And of course, like attracts like.

If you're looking to **** and have meaningless sex, then you want to find females who also want to **** and have meaningless sex. You have to attune yourself and your beliefs and energy to that of such women, and as they are typically very damaged and ***** up emotionally, mentally and sexually, they tend to believe that abuse = attention = love. They are therefore attracted to men who hate and mistreat women, because that's all they know and that's what they believe they deserve. Perpetuating that cycle is a very negative thing to do, and very costly in the end, in many ways. I strongly recommend against it.

The reason you attract those women is because when you hate women and treat them mysogynistically, you attract those women who want/need/choose that sort of treatment and repel the ones you actually want.

So, how can I make the shift? Because when I'm "nice" they see it's fake and just ignore me, but when I hate them, they love me. I don't imagine it'll take too long before I decide to screw it and go for what gets me results.

Okay, Sarge, you're answering your owqn question and not really seeing what I am saying.

If when you are nice to them, they see that it's fake, then... stop faking it. That means that some part of you still is angry/hateful towards them, and they sense it, and they see the discontinuity and reject you for it.

Remember what I said: what you believe, you become, create and attract. You are believing whatever negatives about women you concluded as a result of being mistreated, and then generating the resultant reality from that. When you try to change it superficially, it does not change it. So you then appear fake and they see it and reject you. And your response seems to be... "well fuck you then, I'll just take that as an excuse to hate you still!"

You haven't changed anything but the smile on your face. If you came across a girl who's smile said she liked you, but her eyes said she hated you, what would your response be?

So you have to genuinely change this response to women internally, not just superficially. That comes from recognition of the issue, understanding that not all women are like whichever ones have been hurting you, and the maturity to stop blaming everyone for the actions of a few, followed by forgiving those who have done nothing to hurt you, and if you are really wanting to succeed, forgiving those who have hurt you as well.

You also need to make being around you fun, and having sex with you fun. Girls just wanna have fun. Yes, cheesy, but true. The guys who are most fun tend to have no particular agenda and are typically fairly spontaneous.

This one I never got. Sex IS fun. So, how could it not be fun??

You are assuming that everyone shares your point of view. Sex is fun FOR YOU. It may not be fun for her. It may be painful, scary, make her feel too vulnerable, feel like it's an obligatory act, remind her of some past emotional or sexual trauma, etc. You must make it fun for her as well.

Also keep in mind that no matter what there will be someone who loves you, someone who hates you and 98% won't give a rat's patoot.

When you get needy, you're going to drive women away unless they are either also needy or they want to use and manipulate you. Being emotional is good. But too much of a good thing is not a good thing, and a man must be, to some degree at least, in control of his emotional expressions.

If you are needy and mysogynistic, and bisexual, it sounds to me as if it is likely that there has been some sort of horribly painful experience(s) that involved one or more women not giving you the emotional connection/consideration you needed and you have decided that in an effort to have a chance to be happy at all, you would leave all your options open (be bisexual).

What makes me needy?

Also, I've been bisexual since I can remember (age 6 and PRIOR) it's not a thing that developed over time, I've always been that way, just never come to terms with it till now.

I'm also not mysogynistic per-se. As a person, I WANT to be able to love women, but there's nothing to love except their love, so when I don't get it unless I hate em, well then I hate em. Isn't that just the way it works? I shouldn't try to change reality before changing myself, should I?

What makes you needy is not seeking and supplying the needs you have from within yourself, instead of seeking externally for them.

I'm not saying how or why you are/became bisexual. I'm just saying what appeared a likely explanation based on what information I had.

If you're not mysogynistic, then you do not think or act in a mysogynistic manner. Either you do or you don't, you are or you aren't. Are you or not?

If you want to be able to love women, then you don't. I don't want to love women, because I already do. Not necessarily every single individual one, but females in general. I enjoy them and what makes them female, not necessarily because of sex or romance or any other particular specific reason, but because I understand that they are people like me and they happen to be expressing through a female body and that that will adjust how they express and why, and that they by and large want and need the same things I want and need. I also know that I will catch more bees with honey than vinegar, and that life is a lot more enjoyable when I am being positive. So I take women as a whole as an enjoyable experience, and women individually as being whatever they show themselves to be, with all that that entails. They get from me the attention, admiration and respect that they deserve based on their choices and actions.

Could I hate women in general? Sure, I have been plenty abused by women. It's only since around 2010 that that has really stopped, and that is because I mastered myself to a sufficient degree. But that also means that I have the maturity to differentiate "all women" from those who hurt me, and not try to blame them all for the choices and actions of the handful I was hurt by. It also means that I accepted and owned the fact that it was my own beliefs that resulted in the choices and thus actions which in turn resulted in the experiences I had with them. When I understood that and what I needed to learn to stop being treated that way, the treatment stopped and since then I have attracted only women who treat me well. Even those who used to be abusive to me, now no longer do so, because I will not allow them to.

What is there to love about women? I can think of a lot more than just their love. But it depends on what kind of love you're talking about. It also depends on what kind of woman you're dealing with. Quality women have a lot to love about them. I have met women who were sexy as hell to me because of their intelligence. I have met women whose sense of humor made me love them. Women whose sense of adventure was awesome, women whose playfulness was awesome, women whose genuine caring and love for me made them loveable, and so on.

Here's a clue. You don't get love in response to hate unless you're dealing with a very, very wise being. And you will only get sex in response to hate if you are dealing with a seriously fucked up woman. If you want to attract seriously fucked up women, hate works. If you want a woman who is healthy, you will have to put down the hate and outgrow blaming all women for the actions of a few.

Neediness does not go away if you mask it with hate. It just gets masked.

Again, what makes me needy?

Aside from answering that earlier, I am referencing your own statement that you are needy.

Find the root of your mysogyny, and work on understanding that not all women are like the one(s) who have hurt you. Then, stop blaming all women for the actions of a few, and forgive those who have hurt you.

WHEN my mysogyny rears it's head, it is often because of the "stupidity" of women. Their irrational and illogical ways. I guess it's a twisted way of accepting that that is how they are. So is it acceptance that I need?

As for forgiveness, I don't know how that works, since those who've hurt me CONTINUE to hurt me. How can I forgive them when they keep f*cking with me?

If they are still fucking with you, then you need to get away from them and then begin working on forgiveness if you don't think you can forgive them otherwise. But you can only change yourself.

So you are having trouble because the "stupidity of women" being "their irrational and illogical ways". But this issue is based on your own stupidity, which is you expecting them to be what you expect them to be. A woman is a woman, and a man is a man. They are designed differently and they think and act differently. Expecting otherwise does not change that fact. It only frustrates you when your expectations fail to be conformed to by the greater reality which you don't directly or completely control.

Tip: When you have expectations, you are asking to be disappointed. Therefore, let go of expectations.

Furthermore, again, remember that you attract and create the reality that naturally results from your deepest beliefs. If you are surrounded by women who are irrational, illogical and generally stupid, you are putting out there the beliefs, choices and actions that are resulting in you meeting that type of woman. If you don't want that type of woman, then as Ghandi said, be the change you wish to see in the world. In other words, the only thing you have the power to change is yourself - not other people. So change yourself into the guy who attracts the women you want to be around. Blaming them for not being what you want, only gets you more of what you have.

Once you have achieved these things - and I mean truly achieved them - you'll experience a deep transformation that will allow you to see a huge change in your interactions with, and success with, women both sexually and romantically. I know this, because this was something I had to do after a multi-year and very painful and abusive relationship. I had to realize that it wasn't every woman, it was the women who I was attracting. And I was repeatedly attracting this type of woman because that's what I was looking for at some level. I could no more blame all women than I could say that the grass in my lawn was to blame, and when I accepted that and let go of my hate, and then refused to be mistreated again, and understood that my mistreatment came from not valuing myself relative to women, I started having wonderful relations and relationships with women.

Your issue is a little different, but you very much seem to need to understand, forgive, let go of hate and move on.

Maybe. We'll see. So far, hate is all that gets me respect, or attraction. Being indifferent zen master is easy, but it's not a life. It's like being dead and walking dead. At least with hate there is passion. LUCKILY (from what you're telling me) I have such a strong antagonism towards hate, so I rarely give into it. Preferring to find a way rather than give in. But I do feel that I will one day.

Hate isn't getting you respect or attraction. You just don't realize that because you don't know any better yet. Hate gets you noticed, but the people who will stick around long enough to care are not the ones you want to be dealing with. The key isn't what you think it is. The key is figuring out how to make yourself genuinely happy.

In life, you are always welcome to make bad choices. You are always welcome to hurt yourself, if that is how you insist on learning. But the easier way to learn is to watch other people make mistakes, and then don't do that. The more I see of this, the more I realize that your issue boils down to you blaming women for something that 99.99999999999999999999999999999999% of them didn't do, and then deciding that they all deserve hate and being too immature to face the fact that you insisting on having it your way is only hurting you, not them. Hate only begets misery.

What I really "blame women for" is that they DO go for the abusives. I think it's deep hatred towards my mother who not only stayed with my abusive father, but let him abuse me and my brothers. When I see women give in to that hating energy, my blood boils. I hate them for THAT for the suffering they inflict on their children because they are f*cked up.

Women don't go for abusives. Abused and damage women go for the only thing they know when they are looking for some semblance of love and validity, which is... abuse. And abused people tend to be very afraid of their abusers, and are not generally the best choice of protectors from abusers... so blaming her for being afraid of her abuser and hating her for it is really not doing anyone any good. You have to understand her point of view better and forgive her for her failings, through understanding them, and her. Did she fail to protect you? Yes. Is it in the past? Yes. Can that be changed? No. Is hating her and blaming her doing anyone any good? No. But what can do good is understanding her, forgiving her and letting yourself move on, both personality and in relation to other women.

And hating women in general for this is not helping it either. If they don't understand enough to do better, blaming and hating will accomplish not a damned thing. So simply seek one who does understand and seeks better for herself, but blame and hate are negative and negativity is only going to lead to more misery. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

I'm never having kids btw unless I find a unicorn (i.e. a woman who's not f*cked up lol)

Everyone has their issues. You, me, and everyone alive. There are women out there who are suitable for you to have kids with, but before you have kids, try to make yourself the parent you wanted your parents to be... now there's the real challenge.

This response of yours is good, but I'm not seeing the way out. You're spotting the problems rather easily, but then I knew all that (mostly). My problem is HOW to gt out, or if I SHOULD get out? Why should I ignore gravity just because it makes me fall? Shouldn't I just accept it and learn to live with it? Likewise with women, shouldn't I just accept that they want to be treated like shit and stop fighting it?

I'm not sure what you mean. But I can say this... for the millionth time. It's not that they want to be treated like shit", it's that your beliefs, actions and reactions attract women who you perceive as wanting to be treated like shit, and your limited awareness prevents you from understanding that they are only attracted because this is the like that you are attracting with your beliefs, actions, choices and attitudes. Not all women want to be treated like shit. YOU are the key factor, and what YOU believe and what YOU respond with is what generates YOUR choices and YOUR actions and the resulting response from the world around you is women of the same caliber.

Like I said (and I've been doing approaches for a while now) I've never seen a woman enjoy an interaction with me unless I had some level of anger or resentment present. The other ones are kind, and "impressed" but they don't give me numbers, nor want anything to do with me. This is at least 50 women by now too, so it's not like I'm just hitting the ones who want to be treated like shit. The law of averages says that I should have encountered a few who like the love by now.

The law of averages says that you will get the results you get from the sample size you select, and the constituents of that sample, will on average be reflective of the sample you selected from.

If all you select for a random sampling is blue marbles and yellow marbles, and then you "randomly sample from your chosen sampling, you won't get red marbles. Again...

If you are attracting a specific type of woman, or a specific type of reaction, from women, as a result of your beliefs, and the resulting choices, actions and attitudes, then you are going to be biasing the "sample" in the direction of what fits the beliefs etc. that you hold.