04-11-2015, 08:59 PM
Stage 4, Day 1,
Shit, I realized that I didn't get any video in for the 3rd stage; life just happened, and it all flew by.
Today was my day off from needing to avoid Youtube and distracting video; so I watched a few of them, and enjoyed the day. I sold some books of mine, and returned the classical guitar I had borrowed to make room for when I move.
Stage 4 seems to have given me an emotional shield against bad feelings; I watched Forrest Gump, and last summer, it had me bawling all over the place. Now, it's as if my brain acknowledged: "this is sad" but I wasn't affected by it the same way as before.
I was extremely horny, so I broke my noFap rule again. It must have to do with the new stage. I hit a whole new level of appreciation for the feminine form. I read various articles about the experience of being an ugly woman, from women who consider themselves 'ugly'. It did open my eyes, and not take for granted the fact that I've dated women that I'm very attracted to, and they are usually attractive to others. Life is cruel in many ways to most people, so I shouldn't contribute to that.
Shit, I realized that I didn't get any video in for the 3rd stage; life just happened, and it all flew by.
Today was my day off from needing to avoid Youtube and distracting video; so I watched a few of them, and enjoyed the day. I sold some books of mine, and returned the classical guitar I had borrowed to make room for when I move.
Stage 4 seems to have given me an emotional shield against bad feelings; I watched Forrest Gump, and last summer, it had me bawling all over the place. Now, it's as if my brain acknowledged: "this is sad" but I wasn't affected by it the same way as before.
I was extremely horny, so I broke my noFap rule again. It must have to do with the new stage. I hit a whole new level of appreciation for the feminine form. I read various articles about the experience of being an ugly woman, from women who consider themselves 'ugly'. It did open my eyes, and not take for granted the fact that I've dated women that I'm very attracted to, and they are usually attractive to others. Life is cruel in many ways to most people, so I shouldn't contribute to that.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
