Well I'm feeling better but Stage 5 has been rough. It feels like I've regressed. I lack the confidence and self-assurance I had in Stage 4. It's hard to feel the absence of those things once you've had a taste. Not only that but in Stage 4 my confidence, self-esteem, and overall IDGFness were by and large self-perpetuating. If I had a negative thought or feeling something would kick in to squash it. Now this wasn't perfect or at a level I would have been happy resting at, but they were enabling.
I hope I can chalk it all up to resistance. I didn't think I'd have this kind of reaction to Stage 5 since it's described as a refinement of earlier material. Thoughts?
In addition:
Last night, I blew the opportunity, twice, to meet this girl at the mall that I've had my eye on. I walked right by her to go buy something and then back the opposite way. Both times I told myself I would talk to her, and both times I kept on walking. Even caught her giving me that look like "Come and talk to me I want to meet you, handsome." And it's not the first time I've chickened out of talking to this woman, nor is it the first time she's looked at me with interesest. I'm not even afraid of rejection, it's the approach anxiety that got me. That and the conditioned response NOT to act, which only reinforces the behaviour. I was angry at myself and full of regret for the rest of the night. The positive? I concluded that regret feels worse than anything and vowed to myself I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.
I hope I can chalk it all up to resistance. I didn't think I'd have this kind of reaction to Stage 5 since it's described as a refinement of earlier material. Thoughts?
In addition:
Last night, I blew the opportunity, twice, to meet this girl at the mall that I've had my eye on. I walked right by her to go buy something and then back the opposite way. Both times I told myself I would talk to her, and both times I kept on walking. Even caught her giving me that look like "Come and talk to me I want to meet you, handsome." And it's not the first time I've chickened out of talking to this woman, nor is it the first time she's looked at me with interesest. I'm not even afraid of rejection, it's the approach anxiety that got me. That and the conditioned response NOT to act, which only reinforces the behaviour. I was angry at myself and full of regret for the rest of the night. The positive? I concluded that regret feels worse than anything and vowed to myself I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.
