Stage 3, Day 18,
I think this is where the Alpha Male programming is starting to peak through, but in its opposite form; the way I address people always varies, the volume of my voice varies, my opinions vary, my posture varies, my thoughts on the future vary. In a way, I pussy foot and try to not offend. On the other hand, I say things that are just a bit off the wall, that wind up adding conflict (according to my perception of things).
I'm still doing that 'tall guy sometimes not trying to take up space' act. My emotions flare up at times, for the dumbest reasons. I've been fortunate to have that 2nd person perspective, where for a brief moment, I can see myself realistically, as well as clarity on my shortcomings. Those instances are rare and invaluable, so I'm glad they pop up.
I'm also glad that I'm not all that satisfied with my current career path, because comfort will be less likely to keep me there for longer than it should.
Very difficult songs on guitar are incredibly easy, if I stop and compare myself to the average guitarist. My voice has been set back a bit, which happens from time to time.
But I have great hope for my future, for these reasons:
1) I've been utterly consistent with pMemory and gym, barring the exceptional. In pMemory, I'm done with the 49th lesson, and I'll be done the 7th of April, if all goes well. With the gym, I've put on 10 lbs of muscle in the last 3 months. I look like a completely different person. This proves to me that if I focus only on two things outside of work, I can totally rock at it.
2) Soon, my side project will be music primarily, then sexual presence as the other. If I develop consistency in those, I'll be on track for the start of my musical success, and setting a foundation for success with women.
3) Once I have a side project that involves either social life or dating life, and I get big success in either of those, that will give me enormous confidence, as it breaks a chain that goes back to my childhood. I'll truly understand that the past has no power over me, and I'll be able to focus on the future. This will probably be a project on the July - September quarter.
4) I'll eventually be buying 'Become a Multi-Millionaire', and a program by Tom Hess that has rave reviews on becoming an independent musician.
Quarter 1 is spilling partway into April, so I'm postponing Quarter 2 until I finish the 12 week trap workout. It might wind up becoming 3 'periods', like in hockey; 3 x 4 months each. Probably not.
I think this is where the Alpha Male programming is starting to peak through, but in its opposite form; the way I address people always varies, the volume of my voice varies, my opinions vary, my posture varies, my thoughts on the future vary. In a way, I pussy foot and try to not offend. On the other hand, I say things that are just a bit off the wall, that wind up adding conflict (according to my perception of things).
I'm still doing that 'tall guy sometimes not trying to take up space' act. My emotions flare up at times, for the dumbest reasons. I've been fortunate to have that 2nd person perspective, where for a brief moment, I can see myself realistically, as well as clarity on my shortcomings. Those instances are rare and invaluable, so I'm glad they pop up.
I'm also glad that I'm not all that satisfied with my current career path, because comfort will be less likely to keep me there for longer than it should.
Very difficult songs on guitar are incredibly easy, if I stop and compare myself to the average guitarist. My voice has been set back a bit, which happens from time to time.
But I have great hope for my future, for these reasons:
1) I've been utterly consistent with pMemory and gym, barring the exceptional. In pMemory, I'm done with the 49th lesson, and I'll be done the 7th of April, if all goes well. With the gym, I've put on 10 lbs of muscle in the last 3 months. I look like a completely different person. This proves to me that if I focus only on two things outside of work, I can totally rock at it.
2) Soon, my side project will be music primarily, then sexual presence as the other. If I develop consistency in those, I'll be on track for the start of my musical success, and setting a foundation for success with women.
3) Once I have a side project that involves either social life or dating life, and I get big success in either of those, that will give me enormous confidence, as it breaks a chain that goes back to my childhood. I'll truly understand that the past has no power over me, and I'll be able to focus on the future. This will probably be a project on the July - September quarter.
4) I'll eventually be buying 'Become a Multi-Millionaire', and a program by Tom Hess that has rave reviews on becoming an independent musician.
Quarter 1 is spilling partway into April, so I'm postponing Quarter 2 until I finish the 12 week trap workout. It might wind up becoming 3 'periods', like in hockey; 3 x 4 months each. Probably not.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
