Level Up - LTU3.1

[Darwinn]

So the business is coming along - going to have something up and running within a month so that's a head of schedule. work is going ok - more positive but i get hit by a sinking wave of depression every time i get reminded about my low station at work - i'm basically bottom of the pile in terms of promotion level and it fricken hurts - not nearly so much as it hurts to think that i should be much higher and my peers in my age cohort have moved on so far by now.

Still I gotta come back to me. I'm carving my own path and beating back a decade and a half of severe depression so this pain is like nothing compared to all of that. What consoles me further is that i'm starting to feel truly free of what everyone thinks - i'm not there yet, theres a lot of conditioning but i'm getting snippets of what it would be like to be completely independent and self driven.

I'm also just thinking about my experience of AM6 - it really wasn't the time for me, and similar to what sarge has said in another post, i'm not sure i really care about being an alpha male. I don't really care about being dominant - i don't want to control people, i just want to be free to do what i want without internal or external bs getting in my way.