03-19-2015, 03:46 PM
What the actual f. All the shit I've been through with am6, I didn't expect that I would have a day like today on LTU, when I sat there and every person who has criticised me or told me I'm worthless has screaming in my face in my mind. It was awful, I couldn't work and I had the most miserable look on my face.
What's strange though is I went out with work colleagues and had a great time, I was standing with people making jokes and being just a normal social human even though on the inside I felt like an insecure little troll creature.
I feel like my personality is split in two, inside there is this dark self hating little guy who fears and hates everything including himself. Then there is this compassionate loving, fun guy who is overtly sexual, focussed and just enjoys everything, even challenges - for this guy fears turn into excitement, for the other they turn into self recrimination and depression.
The extremes that I seem to go through on a daily basis can't be healthy , but what the f am I gonna do.
What's strange though is I went out with work colleagues and had a great time, I was standing with people making jokes and being just a normal social human even though on the inside I felt like an insecure little troll creature.
I feel like my personality is split in two, inside there is this dark self hating little guy who fears and hates everything including himself. Then there is this compassionate loving, fun guy who is overtly sexual, focussed and just enjoys everything, even challenges - for this guy fears turn into excitement, for the other they turn into self recrimination and depression.
The extremes that I seem to go through on a daily basis can't be healthy , but what the f am I gonna do.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
