:: Everything You Need to Know Before Asking Question ::

[GlaizenGold777]

:: Shannon's Wisdom ::

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It takes a lot of maturity to let the other person, who is clearly wrong, think they have won the argument because you don't need to force them to admit you are right. It means you know, deep down, that you are right, and you have outgrown and mastered that part of yourself that used to need the security of outward displays of "being right".

Whenever you battle emotion with logic, logic always wins and loses at the same time, because emotions cannot do logic. They do the reverse of logic, which means that logic wins at logic. But it always loses because there is no way to argue an emotional opponent with logic and get anywhere. It's a waste of energy, and it makes observers wonder who the bigger fool is.

Whenever I realize I am arguing with someone who is coming from an emotional basis, I stop arguing, because there is no way to get my point across and understood unless I appeal to their emotions, which essentially means I have to emotionally manipulate them - which I am not willing to do. So I just stop arguing and walk away. And if they think they've "won", more power to them. I am not arguing to "win", I am just trying to be clearly understood.

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Mat, I believe that all things must be balanced. That includes males and females, and the ego versus humility. It is false ego that is the enemy... and unbalanced ego. False ego is based in insecurity and fear. A healthy, balanced, genuine ego is based in experience, self love, self reliance and maturity.

I figured I'd post this here, so the other thread doesn't get clogged up. Shannon I feel like every time you present something like this it makes me think more and more about how I live my life haha. It's like I think I've got things figured out and then I start from scratch. So I switched out one of the things from my list and added being your own alpha male.

Reading over my last post and then reading yours I kind of realized I've got some false ego going on. I think I want to feel powerful and dominant because of fear. I feel like I kind of do project this false image out of insecurity at times. I guess I just don't want people hurting me. I feel like some times I have trouble turning off the seriousness instead of just having fun.

I mean I do want to be alpha, otherwise I wouldn't have listened to the sub. But then I usually ask myself why I feel so compelled to improve myself so much. Maybe my problem is I accepted such a low standard of living for myself for so long that I didn't realize that I should be experiencing something more. Part of being an alpha male is not caring what others think of you, but sometimes I feel like people do respect me more for being alpha and that boosts my self esteem. So I did acknowledge what someone thought of me in a way.

Maybe I'm just over thinking this and I should wait until I finish up the rest of the stages. You probably already thought of all this and put it in the set anyway haha. If there's one thing I learned from my first run through it's that the ego balancing was just the right amount. I always had this underlying fear of just becoming a guy with an overinflated ego, but it was all perfectly balanced.

I think you share with me a tendency to excessive literalism and overanalysis. I have spent a good bit of time learning to overcome them, and still they plague me, but not as badly as before.

You should perhaps consider that to say that you don't care what anyone thinks is not going to be a black and white absolute. If I did not care what my customers thought, would we have this forum? If I did not care what my lovers thought, would I take the time to give them pleasure? But I don't do these things because I am a slave to them; I do them because I want things to be better.

Consider: I care about my customers, and I care about my reputation as a producer of quality subliminal products that work, because I invest personal pride in doing the right thing. If I produce a product that does not work for the majority of people, and I continue to sell it, am I doing the right thing? Should I not care what they think because I am an alpha male? On the contrary, I care what they think because I am trying to not only uphold my own personal sense of honor and integrity, but I am trying to make the lives of those who use my programs better.

Do I care if I upset someone unintentionally? Yes. Do I care if I am out of bounds with something I say and it is rude or overly aggressive? Yes. Do I care if I speak eloquently? Yes.

Do I care of someone tells me thy don't like my style of clothes? Nope. Do I care if someone tells me my religious beliefs are "wrong?" Nope. Do I care if a woman wants to date me? Not really. Do I care if my car isn't cool? Not much. I wouldn't mind having one that better fits my self image, but the one I have runs well, and I have no pressing need to get a new one. Even if it's not a "chick magnet". I'll get the chick magnet later. It's not a big deal.

Perhaps this will illustrate a little bit better what it means to be an alpha male concerning what others think, and when/whether an alpha cares. It isn't about what others think, it's about being a good man, for myself. Doing that doesn't require me to compete for the attention of the ladies by having a flashy car. A woman worth having will value me for who and what I am, not the car I drive. Being rude and overly aggressive is inconsiderate, which would reflect poorly on me and be contrary to my goals of making the world a better place.

When I care what others think, it's because it really matters. It really matters if my products work. It really matters if I am honest, and have integrity. It really matters if I am polite, and keep myself under control when/if I become upset. These things matter because they have impact that has real value. But it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me, or my car, or what I do, or what I believe, from a stand point of trying to impress them. Do you see the difference? I do as I please, but I also value my self, my honor and integrity, and I value myself as a force for positive change in the world.

There is a saying that "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind, don't matter." It's not a bad one to consider. I doubt I have done justice to the point I was trying to get across, but for the moment, it is the best I can do.

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I'm just the peanut gallery here and I know the "not caring" wasn't about this at all, but as a female, it's automatically attractive when a man doesn't care about what others think. I think it also gives more integrity to the work he does, and the love he gives because he is giving it genuinely rather than out of a fear based insecurity. So much of what people call love is something that is very limited and conditional, and yes it's given out of fear instead of love as a state of being. It can make people angry when they discover they cannot control you but "not caring" is a good thing. It's not what the words would make it sound like.

Lots of guys go through the motions and look fantastic, have lots of shiny societal trophies, the ones who are worried about popular opinion are also worried about their woman and you can almost smell their need for approval and it is a turn off. Unless I want to manipulate them and in that case they're putty in <my, or any woman's> hands. I'm not like this at all, but if I was ever looking to use a man, I'd find one who is trying to gain my approval. They almost beg you to use them, but the attraction factor is not there.

Bingo. Thank you. I have been telling the guys this from a man's point of view for some time now. To have it from a woman's point of view is a wonderful addition. You put it in terms and added in some things I didn't.

You're right, it is much more genuine what you get from a man who refuses to be manipulated or controlled, and does his own thing. Unfortunately, that isn't valued by most women because it isn't understood by most women. Those women who do use manipulation and control tactics on men (which is almost universal in the United States as a cultural norm, unsurprisingly, since this is a Cancerian country. Cancer rules the feminine and the mother principle, and is famous for using emotional manipulation tactics [guilt, shame, fear] to get what it wants when it is acting out of the negative pole) don't understand that when they control and manipulate a man, they're not going to get what they want as a result. They're going to get a broken beta male they don't find attractive. Maybe that also plays into the divorce rate here, and the level of infidelity in monogamous relationships?

Whatever the case, thank you, Maggie.

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Rainbow, we differ in opinion here over the order of how to go about things. I want to build the man to make women come, and you (seem) to want to women to come to build the man. Perhaps I am misunderstanding you. However, if I am not, I will state again my reasons for my point of view:

To get sex, a man must do one of two things. Either he must beg for it, or he must be the man a woman wants to give it to.

To become the man a woman wants to give it to, he must turn away from women, and external pursuits for happiness, and turn within, to improve himself, for himself. When a man becomes without need for the woman, the woman wants him, and wants to share sex with him.

To add in the female to the first level of the set would take the focus away from the internal, from self growth, and turn out outward. That will distract from the whole goal of the first level of the set, which is inner growth as a man. It is about the man, not the woman. Women are a distraction from the man becoming his true potential. That is a large part of why many have not achieved it: they lack the understanding, focus and discipline to do so.

I agree, sex is very basic and very important. But it is to the man who is his own master that the sex goes naturally. You must first build the foundation before you can build a house.

Level II can start to deal with external focii such as women. Level I is, and always was, about the man, the self, and inner growth and healing.

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Women are a distraction from the man becoming his true potential. That is a large part of why many have not achieved it: they lack the understanding, focus and discipline to do so.

I totally agree with you here Shannon.

With my case I used to focus on women all the time as well, until I finally realized I need to build myself first and especially my wealth, until I can be an abundant provider, who can provide anytime I wishes, and not beg for anything from other people, being independently wealthy.

I'm so tempted to try out your Sex Magnet program, and go have fun with girls, but I decided I need to focus on my business first, before I think about having fun, and I really like the way you will set up Alpha Male which will focus on the core first.

When each one of us have financial freedom, women are so easy to get, there will be virtually no limit to what kind of women we want to have relationship with, and not only that, the playground will be totally different, we can take our women to go anywhere we want in world, go on a date to exotic places and do all kind of amazing things.

Focusing on ourselves first and our financial while sacrificing the focus on women is definitely NOT easy, but I think it is what we men have to do, we focus first on what really matters in our life, if we have truly an exciting life there will be limitless supply of women who wants to join the excitement and the potential that we got to offer, and we never have to beg them for anything, they'll be more than happy to join the ride.

The line between the men and the boys is maturity. The men do what needs to be done to get what they want, even if the process isn't fun, or takes then away from what they want for a while. The boys chase what they want without ever doing what it takes to get it.

The point about being a capable provider is an interesting one, because in a lot of ways, the female of the species associates the provider with the beta male. Genetically, it is the wild bad boy she's after during her younger years, and usually it will be the unreliable bad boy who gets the eggs and the provider who is made to believe they are his children he is raising.

The role of a leader is to lead. A leader can lead himself, or he can lead himself and others. To a certain extent, all leaders must also provide for those they lead, whether through leadership, organisation, or whatever else.

The role of every alpha male is to lead provide for himself, and his responsibilities. When a man takes on a woman as a partner, he is responsible for providing at least half of the couple's needs. In a perfect world, she would be providing for half and he would be providing for half. He would cover what she could not do while she was fulfilling her role in the partnership, and she would do the same for him.

The alpha provider therefore is different from the beta provider. The alpha remains the leader of at least himself in the couple. The beta provides as a means of getting the girl, and allows himself to be used, controlled and manipulated in the process.

Provider is an important role for a man, but it must be taken with care not to allow it to make one into the "taken advantage of" as well. I have seen that a lot.

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The secret to happiness in life... as far as I can see... amounts to this.

Do what makes you happy, without harming others. Let go of your expectations, and appreciate what you get and what you have. Set goals and steadily achieve them. Live always in wonderment of the world around you. Never stop learning, or discovering new things. Smile when you encounter others. Be polite. Drive it like it's important to you. Love like tomorrow is the last day you have. Be of service where you can. Appreciate the joy and pleasure of others as if it were your own. Do the right thing. And walk barefoot in the grass once in a while.

I'm sure you can pull out of that what is relevant for you.

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