02-23-2015, 07:27 PM
Stage 2, Day 18,
Gosh, today was intense. My internship host isn't there; instead she's sick, and has missed 3 weekdays, 4 tomorrow. We were asked to send a bunch of our documents, and she called to critique all of them; not find strong points and weak points, just point out my flaws. I became enraged, because I know she's all too happy to find 100 faults in my work, but if I found a fault in her's, she would take it the wrong way.
I do think that I overreacted, since I called later for advice, and she was talking normally. So it must just be her style. It's pressure, so I must adapt to it.
I know (personally) that my French speaking isn't where it should be. My diction and phraseology aren't where they should be. I studder like a motherfucker, especially under stress. My getting stressed affects how focused and how fast I can work. It feels like things are going wrong.
And now, my colleague and I have to handle a crazy day tomorrow without this host. We're out in the fray, unsure if we're prepared. We'll have to find out.
I had to skip the gym and pMemory in favor of internship related stuff. I'll be going to bed relatively early, as I'll be on French television tomorrow.
Gosh, today was intense. My internship host isn't there; instead she's sick, and has missed 3 weekdays, 4 tomorrow. We were asked to send a bunch of our documents, and she called to critique all of them; not find strong points and weak points, just point out my flaws. I became enraged, because I know she's all too happy to find 100 faults in my work, but if I found a fault in her's, she would take it the wrong way.
I do think that I overreacted, since I called later for advice, and she was talking normally. So it must just be her style. It's pressure, so I must adapt to it.
I know (personally) that my French speaking isn't where it should be. My diction and phraseology aren't where they should be. I studder like a motherfucker, especially under stress. My getting stressed affects how focused and how fast I can work. It feels like things are going wrong.
And now, my colleague and I have to handle a crazy day tomorrow without this host. We're out in the fray, unsure if we're prepared. We'll have to find out.
I had to skip the gym and pMemory in favor of internship related stuff. I'll be going to bed relatively early, as I'll be on French television tomorrow.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
