I had the most incredible experience yesterday: a feeling of (near) total self-validation and corresponding confidence. It was a gradual transition that happened at work. I noticed it once it was 'on'. I think I've written about the girl across the hall who has been trying to get with me for some time. I haven't pursued it because of how self-conscious I am about my body, but yesterday none of that mattered. I saw her on my break and suggested we hang out. For reasons beyond my control, that didn't happen, but my self-talk was as follows: We're going to hang out, and she's going to give me a blowjob. No reservations whatsoever. I felt worthy. I should have gone to a bar. Just as exciting as the positive, was the absence of the negative.
Well I didn't feel that way today, but I've had a taste of what is possible and I'm hooked. I hope that along with these experiences, AM will help me achieve consistency.
Well I didn't feel that way today, but I've had a taste of what is possible and I'm hooked. I hope that along with these experiences, AM will help me achieve consistency.