Stage 2, Day 2,
The week has taken a toll of me; my fresh face from last week is now a scowl (heh). I took a picture of myself at work to send to my mom, and I look like a mess heh. I know that it won't last forever, so it's fine. It's affecting my singing voice, though.
The work day was basically me and my coworker; the first two days of the week, the clinic was packed with workers. The last three days, it's been quiet. So the last half of the day, I felt like I was going crazy (mental frustration). We were left independent of our preceptor (who has the day off).
I'm sticking with gym and pMemory, except today's lesson because I slept in during the morning, and did all my other things in the evening. So I'll do this lesson tomorrow morning (day off), and I'm done for the week.
My water pipe is busted, so I had to shower at the gym. Didn't care about being naked; weird to say on paper, but I used to care. Now, it's like wearing clothes, except you're not.
I'm starting to face the reality that I'm (still) not to the level I want with women. I want women to engage with me, and that they enjoy it and seek it out. I've got some skill, and I'm keeping myself busy enough to not warrant going out to night clubs (which I don't really like to begin with). I have approached a couple of women this week, and I have gotten this cute girl's number yesterday. I'm considering giving online dating a real try.
Plus, my sex drive has been low. I haven't jerked off in 6 days since my last romp, and I haven't even noticed. During SM3, I would've gone crazy.
The point I'm making is that my ability to date women is similar to my busted water pipe; I could choose to take a cold shower, but it'd be because I don't have a choice on the matter. I want to get to the level to which I take cold showers because I have the choice between hot or cold.
The week has taken a toll of me; my fresh face from last week is now a scowl (heh). I took a picture of myself at work to send to my mom, and I look like a mess heh. I know that it won't last forever, so it's fine. It's affecting my singing voice, though.
The work day was basically me and my coworker; the first two days of the week, the clinic was packed with workers. The last three days, it's been quiet. So the last half of the day, I felt like I was going crazy (mental frustration). We were left independent of our preceptor (who has the day off).
I'm sticking with gym and pMemory, except today's lesson because I slept in during the morning, and did all my other things in the evening. So I'll do this lesson tomorrow morning (day off), and I'm done for the week.
My water pipe is busted, so I had to shower at the gym. Didn't care about being naked; weird to say on paper, but I used to care. Now, it's like wearing clothes, except you're not.
I'm starting to face the reality that I'm (still) not to the level I want with women. I want women to engage with me, and that they enjoy it and seek it out. I've got some skill, and I'm keeping myself busy enough to not warrant going out to night clubs (which I don't really like to begin with). I have approached a couple of women this week, and I have gotten this cute girl's number yesterday. I'm considering giving online dating a real try.
Plus, my sex drive has been low. I haven't jerked off in 6 days since my last romp, and I haven't even noticed. During SM3, I would've gone crazy.
The point I'm making is that my ability to date women is similar to my busted water pipe; I could choose to take a cold shower, but it'd be because I don't have a choice on the matter. I want to get to the level to which I take cold showers because I have the choice between hot or cold.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
