MasterEnki: Positive Vibes - Part 1 - Healing My Heart (EPRHA)

[MasterEnki]

Day 52:

AlphaMind Wrote:
Repped. Only men with balls of steels can do this level of self-respect

Thanks.

jonathan4all Wrote:
3 billions girl Why u wanna die virgin.

I don't.

I am interested in experiencing sex. Though I will only have it once I find a way to get women that is natural for me.

Benjamin Wrote:
It 'sounds' admirable. But think about how much of that is actually being programmed to be too nice and using it as a rationalization.

I noticed something interesting, I did an exercise where I wrote down the actions and mindsets I thought of when I think of being 'an asshole'. And I noticed alot of them are things that I actually want to do or say but never did because I was scared to, guilty to express myself or whatever. There were like 2 things on the list that I would say could be attributed to someone who is a REAL, destructive asshole, the rest are just ***** programming I had.

I just think of alot of this stuff as asshole behaviour because i'm so not used to it.. but most of the stuff I thought of is something a confident, masculine, healthy man would do... though not according to alot of society because of all the ***** and attacking any sign of masculinity that is going on, stupid feminist crap etc..

In the end I want to balance it, not just be an asshole just for the sake of it.. but I think doing so for a while was something needed.

The problem is (even for me at the moment) is assuming you have to be either extreme. Why can't someone who puts himself first, stands up for himself, is confident etc also be positive, lift people up etc.. of course he can.

Interesting Points.

Being independent, assertive, confident, positive, empowering to others... sounds like a great combination.

I agree, one can be Kind / Empowering / Caring / Polite, and still be Independent.


I'm compelled to develop what's natural for me when it comes to relating to others (especially women).

The whole cocky / badboy / jerk thing (that seems like common advice for PUA) feels really unnatural for me.

But I can appreciate that for others it is natural for them.


I've been following your journal,

It seems likely you are going through the whole re-defining boundaries thing.

The word 'asshole' reminded me of the old PUA advice about badboy / jerks, insulting women / putdowns towards women, etc.

maniac360 Wrote:
Someone definition of "kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness" could be the definition of an asshole behavior for another guy and could be the definition of an alpha male for another one.

How do we know we are in the extreme or not. We compare to most people around us but if most people around us are beta males.

Good point.

To me, those traits feel natural and empowering to me.

I'm pretty sure alot of people consider me fairly beta / weak for having those traits, but I'm sure some people consider them strengths.

My goal is to focus on what feels natural to me, despite what others think.