Stage 1, Day 14,
I was able to get a few hours before work to do some studying.
Work was a very pleasant experience, I felt I was giving a lot of warmth, and the time went by very fast. I'm feeling more 'alpha', and I'm starting to get pretty big. In 'Danger&Play's "From Fit to Big", it was mentioned that people will grab you more; a top sales guy squeezed my bicep when greeting me, which never happened. Someone else mentioned my 'guns'.
I've had a new desire pop into my life, which seems insignificant if coming from the wrong place. But I can guarantee that it's coming from the right place, because I feel really good about it. Plus, I don't want to shoo it away due to bad societal programming. Here goes.
New life goal: Have sex with porn star(s) before death.
Disclaimer: I don't watch porn, and I don't know much about the actresses and their names, but I recently became aware of Mia Khalifa and her death threats. I've seen some pictures of her, and she's very well built. Then, I see some Vines of her talking, one of her giggling due to a success, and I must say that I've developed a little crush. Which got me thinking.
I don't need to develop a whole lot to go from where I am to being 'successful with women'. I could push for 2-3 months and be dating any 3-4 girls at a time. But, if I want to be sleeping with pron stars, then the amount of developing as a man I'd like to do would be much more to ACTUALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN. Note that this isn't a sort of fantasy; I want to have actual physical sex with one or many of these women.
A typical girl would be opening her legs for a guy that tickles her 'fancy' and doing other things in her life (school, work, hobbies). A porn star is paid to spread her legs for a living, so what does it take to get her to spread her legs electively? What type of man does that for her? What if I were to become that man? What does it take to become that man?
Of course, the instant that this train of thought occurred, my level of desire for the life of my dreams shot sky high, which fueled my good feelings and time flying by (mentioned earlier).
I do know that many porn stars do not make good life partners due to several reasons, but this relates to who I am as a person and how I can improve it.
This also ISN'T a way to close myself away from other women, as I raise my standards for porn stars only.. that would be the worst sort of rationalization one could think of.
I'm channeling these desires into improving myself in order to achieve my life goals, which in fact puts me in closer contact with these types of women (living in big American cities). I also want to move to Los Angeles, generally speaking.
Thoughts?
I was able to get a few hours before work to do some studying.
Work was a very pleasant experience, I felt I was giving a lot of warmth, and the time went by very fast. I'm feeling more 'alpha', and I'm starting to get pretty big. In 'Danger&Play's "From Fit to Big", it was mentioned that people will grab you more; a top sales guy squeezed my bicep when greeting me, which never happened. Someone else mentioned my 'guns'.
I've had a new desire pop into my life, which seems insignificant if coming from the wrong place. But I can guarantee that it's coming from the right place, because I feel really good about it. Plus, I don't want to shoo it away due to bad societal programming. Here goes.
New life goal: Have sex with porn star(s) before death.
Disclaimer: I don't watch porn, and I don't know much about the actresses and their names, but I recently became aware of Mia Khalifa and her death threats. I've seen some pictures of her, and she's very well built. Then, I see some Vines of her talking, one of her giggling due to a success, and I must say that I've developed a little crush. Which got me thinking.
I don't need to develop a whole lot to go from where I am to being 'successful with women'. I could push for 2-3 months and be dating any 3-4 girls at a time. But, if I want to be sleeping with pron stars, then the amount of developing as a man I'd like to do would be much more to ACTUALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN. Note that this isn't a sort of fantasy; I want to have actual physical sex with one or many of these women.
A typical girl would be opening her legs for a guy that tickles her 'fancy' and doing other things in her life (school, work, hobbies). A porn star is paid to spread her legs for a living, so what does it take to get her to spread her legs electively? What type of man does that for her? What if I were to become that man? What does it take to become that man?
Of course, the instant that this train of thought occurred, my level of desire for the life of my dreams shot sky high, which fueled my good feelings and time flying by (mentioned earlier).
I do know that many porn stars do not make good life partners due to several reasons, but this relates to who I am as a person and how I can improve it.
This also ISN'T a way to close myself away from other women, as I raise my standards for porn stars only.. that would be the worst sort of rationalization one could think of.
I'm channeling these desires into improving myself in order to achieve my life goals, which in fact puts me in closer contact with these types of women (living in big American cities). I also want to move to Los Angeles, generally speaking.
Thoughts?
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
