Now that I have answers about how to wrap up Stage 1, I have a few things to share. These are notes that I've made over the past week.
i.
In the past, I spent a lot of time replaying social interactions in my head and being hard on myself for what I said, how I said it, what I should have said, how my body language came across, etc. It occurred to me that I've hardly done that lately; to the point where I forgot that it's something I did.
ii.
I started thinking about the stuff that gets me down—mainly penis size, sexual stamina, and my non-existent dating life. As if stepping outside of myself, I observed myself entering this negative thought pattern and inviting depression. Then, I consciously (felt automatic) willed myself out of that garbage with reason i.e. instead of wallowing in my own self-pity I can DO something about it; knowing full well that change is possible with consistent effort [and future products such as End Premature Ejaculation 5G *wink*]
iii.
It's fucked up that it's so difficult for me to give myself permission to think of myself as attractive, desirable, and deserving of beautiful women. It's also fucked up how we come to mentally oppress ourselves by internalizing the junk we are fed by society. I'm amazed at how strong our programming is once embedded, and excited by the prospect of using subs to turn this to my advantage.
iv.
Had a crazy dream where I was thrown into a cell and the doors slid shut and I was alone in the dark. I was scared and worried and then something clicked. I suddenly felt determined and empowered. I stood there, staring at the door with intensity; knowing I would eventually get out and steamroll whoever locked me up. It felt so good to feel powerful instead of helpless. Then I woke up.
i.
In the past, I spent a lot of time replaying social interactions in my head and being hard on myself for what I said, how I said it, what I should have said, how my body language came across, etc. It occurred to me that I've hardly done that lately; to the point where I forgot that it's something I did.
ii.
I started thinking about the stuff that gets me down—mainly penis size, sexual stamina, and my non-existent dating life. As if stepping outside of myself, I observed myself entering this negative thought pattern and inviting depression. Then, I consciously (felt automatic) willed myself out of that garbage with reason i.e. instead of wallowing in my own self-pity I can DO something about it; knowing full well that change is possible with consistent effort [and future products such as End Premature Ejaculation 5G *wink*]
iii.
It's fucked up that it's so difficult for me to give myself permission to think of myself as attractive, desirable, and deserving of beautiful women. It's also fucked up how we come to mentally oppress ourselves by internalizing the junk we are fed by society. I'm amazed at how strong our programming is once embedded, and excited by the prospect of using subs to turn this to my advantage.
iv.
Had a crazy dream where I was thrown into a cell and the doors slid shut and I was alone in the dark. I was scared and worried and then something clicked. I suddenly felt determined and empowered. I stood there, staring at the door with intensity; knowing I would eventually get out and steamroll whoever locked me up. It felt so good to feel powerful instead of helpless. Then I woke up.
