The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

I'm well in to stage 5 now. For the first few days I felt absolutely fantastic, but after that initial wave of euphoria, I felt a tremendous amount of resistance and was incredibly irritated by everything around me. Granted, I've been under a good amount of stress lately, but that doesn't matter all that much anymore, because lately no matter how much stress I'm under, I take it all in and am easily able to handle all of it. So I chalked this resistance up to stage 5, not thinking that it could be the carpe diem sub that I was listening to MANY hourse in the daytime(I listen to the alpha sub at night). Silly me. More than likely it was a combination of my own personal stress, assimilating the new stage of alpha and assimilating the script of the carpe diem sub. I layed off listening to the carpe diem sub so much for now and I feel much better. I feel as if everything is finally sinking in now from the new stage and from the carpe diem sub. My indifference is through the roof...or it would be but my indifference instead decided to sit down and have a beer instead

Women are acting ridiculous around me lately. I may have said this before, but sometimes I just need a break energetically or however you want to say it, from women and, although I am still cordial and nice to them, I generally avoid pointless interactions. Sometimes I do this for a few days at a time and when I do I am able to focus intensely on other things. The girls don't like this very much; they are cats after all and they seek my attention ravenously. Women are very predictable sometimes, I imagine they feel the same way about most men, because after all, most men act like the women I described above, but I digress. Anyway, after a few days of this, many of the ones I work with walk by me and make eyes with me at every available opportunity and one of them sends me a message on facebook asking why we never say "hi" to each other at work anymore(Never= 2 or so days in this case). This would be another girl who is not allowed to talk to me because her boyfriend fears I will steal her away. She just can't help herself I guess.


It's all ridiculous, folks. I know other people on here are noticing people constantly trying to seek their approval now and it's not just women either, it's men too. Men are constantly trying to get my approval. I watched a movie the other night that spells out this phenomena amongst humans pretty plainly. The movie was called "The Celestine prophecy" and I was a little hesitant to watch it, because it looked boring, but I finally watched it...I was right. It was way boring in the first half and then the second half was kind of like a poor mans "Davinci code", but the message of the movie was great and that was how humans are constantly trying to take energy from one another. The prophecy was about how if you constantly give energy instead of trying to take it then you will always have an abundant amount and when two people do it then the energy just magnifies between them and the more people that live this way, the better the earth will be. I totally agree. Self fulfillment kind of destroys mindless consumerism. What struck me as funny though was the feeling of someone trying to take energy from me is the feeling I get when everyone is trying to get validation from me all the time. It gets a little annoying after a while. Imagine how celebrities must feel.

Btw, once assimilated, Stage 5 feels great. I'm feeling much more compassionate lately.