(11-22-2014, 09:43 AM)Ricardo Wrote: Stage 4 Day 24
Although I am nearly finished with stage 4 I do have some things to journal about
now.
1. I have had some quite extreme bouts of paranoia and fear of the future. It's a
case of the slightest thing that my mind seems to grab hold of and twist to
something far greater than it actually is. A good example was the speakers
incident I mentioned earlier. My paranoia also took the form of believing people
were out to get me, people hated me because I wasn't my old shy weak self that
they could push around as they felt like.
I also starting checking things in my home before I left for work. I was
convinced that the place was going to catch fire even though it's only the fridge
I leave powered on. I had to check everything multiple times before I could leave
to go to work.
During the speaker paranoia I became very depressed and unhappy (quiet) because I thought I had been wasting my time so far and that if I couldn't listen to the ultrasonic tracks for the most part then I couldn't do these subs and therefore
my life was never going to be what I hoped. Anyway I got over that by blasting
the ultrasonic out of a those speakers at a huge volume ~-5dB roughly and there
was no crackles or voices or anything to indicate the speakers couldn't cope.
2. Sex drive is high again. The same intense feelings I had in stage 1 are
bothering me now. I have developed a huge appreciation of the female form and I'm
sure the next time I have sex it wil be explosive...for me anyways. I strongly
recommend for anyone thinking of doing AM to have at least a sex partner because
your desires will be going all over the place!
3. People are becoming more friendly to me especially the ladies. They tend to
gaze at me when I'm speaking to them. I've also caught women doing this to me on
several occasions on the train. One woman I work with actually lightly held my
arm as I was talking to her (no she doesn't interest me).
Another development is the threatening looks from some blokes have started again
and I think even some gay interest from younger blokes..can't be sure on that but
not something I've ever noticed before so it's worth mentioning.
BTW I'm getting really excited about doing WM because I think that my sexy nerdy
receptionist will be netted as she's beautiful AND single but unfortunately there's a 20yr age gap... so a miracle is probably needed to have sex with herI keep being nice and flirty with her just to keep myself in her mind. She has this really posh sexy tone about her when she talks that I just love.
I probably won't update until around mid December which by then I will be well
into Stage 5 but if there are any important developments then I will give a quick
update.
Please feel free to comment
And the miracle is yo dick in her mouth.. . Your welcome <---teehee
