10-18-2014, 09:53 PM
(10-18-2014, 09:02 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I disagree with the timewaster thing.
She come to your place and she was open to it and just seeing how you would react.. the ***** she was throwing up "i'm not like that" means exactly that she IS like that.. but she doesn't want you to think so. Just be like "ok that's cool.. I only want you to do what you're comfortable with".. sit back.. relax.. and try again.
What exactly are you seeing as the 'rejection'? What did she do? The fact she was still there after you made a move and it triggered all her bs excuses is another sign she wanted to hookup.
I have kicked girls out of my place before, but that was after trying alot. In this case it sounds like you could have done it.
It's just like girls that before you have sex with them that say "I don't usually do this". Yes they do, they just don't want you to think that they do. You don't want to challenge them on it, instead just be like "okay.. I know.. but i'm enjoying kissing you right now" and keep doing it.
I also don't agree with the getting an upfront commitment that she wants sex, if it's brought up too obviously even if she wants it she will get uncomfortable.. instead it's more the vibe and the subtle interaction. Going to a girls house yesterday I realized I was uncomfortable with uncertainty so I decided to tap a little on it and then just allow that feeling to be there and accept it.
As i'm getting the right belief system again, what i'm saying here is also from alot of experience in my past with girls coming back to the forefront of my mind.
-Ben
I was preparing for a rebuttal Ben but when I looked back at you statement it appears that you may be on to something. I'd say Dan was either dealing with a timewaster or a pretender. The fact that she kept hanging around was something I didn't really consider however it should be pointed out that just because a chick comes to your crib doesn't always mean she's down f*ck.
Now if she's saying "oh I don't do this" or "I'm not that type of girl" then yeah most likely she's a pretender and is just trying to make herself seem like a good girl as Ben suggests. But at the end of the day you don't want to continually waste your time on her because if she IS a timewaster that could present huge problem because...well nobody likes having their time wasted.
But I'd still advocate being clear with your intentions to her. It doesn't have to be in a harsh way either. Simply saying "Look, you're an attractive woman and I definitely wouldn't mind spending time with you, but I gotta be honest, I'm not trying to be your 'friend' here. I'm trying to date you and/or f$ck you." Obviously you can switch the words around for your particular situation but those are some of the things I've said.
