The Modern Libertine's diary

[Cortez]

It hasn't exactly been an easy month, but needless to say, I have been feeling pretty well. In the past, if all these things came my way at once, I would sink in to a deep depression and although I feel it a little bit from time to time, all in all, I'm pretty zen. I do have bursts of anger come up from time to time, but they feel pretty deep seated like something that may be being brought to the surface by the subliminal. Stage 4 is pretty intense for me. I like what this program is doing to me, though, I have no doubt that it works incredibly well.

Lately I've been very indifferent to unimportant things and able to better sort out the things that I put my attention on that actually have a point and the things that are essentially meaningless. I've been able to multi task way better and I swear I am getting smarter alll the time. My increased focus and intelligence is really starting to impress me. I am becoming way more assertive, but even though, I still have a problem with procrastination. I might add in Seize the day at some point if I feel it's neccesary. People around here seem to like it, I've always had a huge procrastination problem, but maybe the alpha will help with that by itself. I do feel it lessening somewhat, maybe I'm just impatient,lol.

I've been REALLY indifferent to women lately and of coruse like they do, women are throwing themselves at me because of it. I'd just rather spend time with my family and friends lately. That seems more satisfying to me than hanging out with any woman. I had an interesting night with a girl last week. A girl that I know from Texas gives me a call and says that she's in Oklahoma and if she can stay on my couch so, I'm like "Yeah, ok, why not." Apparently her boyfriend or soulmate or whatever stupid crap she attached to this guy, cheated on her. She told my friend this, not me, because she knew what my reaction would be i.e. "So what?" and her first thought was to come to Oklahoma and stay the night with me. So she came over, I built us a fire and we watched some Netflix on the Wii in my living room(I LOVE NETFIX). I wanted to watch Harry and The Hendersons, so I threw that on knowing full well that we were about to get down and dirty. I'm ridiculous, but I just thought it would be hilarious to throw on Harry and The Hendersons and then start going at it. Needless to say, she didn't sleep on my couch, but we didn't go much further than messing around either. She's a mormon and therefore against sex without some kind of intense attachment. Poor girl, she's so neurotic because of it, so ready to get to get attached to someone. It's sad really. Everything is the end of the world with someone like that and she really can't handle me because I am so unnatached to everything. It was an odd night, but a funny one nonetheless...