(08-12-2014, 02:23 AM)swisston Wrote: I didn't say that it was my belief :) It is just my experience that most women (not all) won't want anything to do with open relationships; as you say they need to feel the security.
I am all for a bit of free love, but much of the world isn't ready for it.
My only concern was that he was discussing being able to hold down four women for dating at a time when he has no dating experience yet! It's a fantastic bit of optimism, but I suspect the reality would be much harder with lots of potentially hurt feelings.
Even if they are just **** buddies, women still tend to get attached.
Yes, I knew I was being being overtly edgy about it when I wrote that but couldn't phrase it better. I'm blaming the 40+ hours of continuous 5G sub use I've been doing now (AM6+MIR) ;) Those are basically the limiting beliefs I had about a year ago, when I thouhgt dating multiple women is just not possible.. I remember reading Steve Pavlina a long time ago when he suddenly started writing about polyamorous relationships and I really thought he'd gone mad, like he'd joined a cult or something :D
I agree with all of you said, except I'd like to argue to your 1st point that almost all women will TELL you they don't want anything to do with open relationships. And its probably not a lie, its how they feel about it at the moment. Yet, when they find themselves in one with a guy they think is basically a good person and who is himself comfortable with it, my experience is that they'll be fine with it, for the moment. And imo "for the moment" should be enough for you when starting out, as it'll take more experience to build something more lasting like that (to have 1 girl above the others). A girl I'm seeing now clearly, explicitly said to me like it was common sense that "I have some friends that like to do that and its fine for them, but I'd never do that". Well, she's been coming over once a week for maybe 9 months now and she's great.
I find that if they're the independent type, this can go along for a long time. If they're the type that catches feelings easily, or a romantic who's now really searching for a longer relationship, it'll either last a shorter time and then just kind of disappear, they will offer an open relationship to you (where they are the "queen bee", priority #1), or they'll tell you that they want to continue searching and therefore can't see you anymore. And if there's a breakup within the year, you'll be the 1st one to get a call from her ;)
Anyhow, that's all I have at my current level.. DanAmerson, if you're starting out with dating 4 women, I really, REALLY recommend the book!! :D If you don't know exactly what kind of a relationship you want from them, you can't communicate it to them and they'll start to make their own assumptions or guesses. And you don't want to lead them on thinking that you're only dating her.. that'll really hurt her, you and your progress. Blackdragon has some hints on how to do that. You can't just say if up front when 1st meeting her, when she's looking for any red flags about you. We'll.. I've had that work, but it is better for you to hint at it and continue providing them with evidence of it. But always keep it anonymous. If she knows you're telling her & everyone else about the other women you're with, then that means she can't trust you to be discreet with her.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
