12-20-2010, 03:11 PM
Yeah I'm gonna start listening to the subliminal at night again. My mind is still weaving stories about how I shouldn't use this subliminal and I can do it on my own, but its all deception.
About sedona method. I looked at it as too much of a technique in the logical sense. I think too much. My brain is overactive, my thoughts are bouncing around in my head non-stop even under my conscious perception. I'm pretty sure I have some form of OCD. I'm going to start doing sedona again. I was very judgmental of myself when I did it however because sometimes I would be very blank. I was worried that I was being too aloof and arrogant. And some days I really didn't care about other people and I felt I was detached in some way. It's hard to describe but I felt like I was being less compassionate towards others. I was very detached but it made me feel bad because I felt like I should have had more compassion for people.
But you see thats the kind of thinking that brings me stress. I feel like its wrong for me to not care what others think and to not care so much about other people. I don't want to turn into a jerk and thats what I felt like sometimes when using the sedona method. But I think it was just more OCD like thinking. I mean I think way too much. More than the average person and thats probably what leaves me disconnected. I try to logically understand everything and solve stuff with my head. But it just brings me more stress because the answer doesn't exist.
To let go seems so wrong to me because then I worry that I'll be cold and mean to people, and whats to stop me from this? I hear about starving children in other countries, murders, rape victims, and all this other suffering. It's not my burden to carry and yet I still feel an obligation to hold onto it. Letting go is so simple, but I have such a resistance to being free. I empathize with the world too much, and I can't change the situations, and sometimes I neglect my own needs.
About sedona method. I looked at it as too much of a technique in the logical sense. I think too much. My brain is overactive, my thoughts are bouncing around in my head non-stop even under my conscious perception. I'm pretty sure I have some form of OCD. I'm going to start doing sedona again. I was very judgmental of myself when I did it however because sometimes I would be very blank. I was worried that I was being too aloof and arrogant. And some days I really didn't care about other people and I felt I was detached in some way. It's hard to describe but I felt like I was being less compassionate towards others. I was very detached but it made me feel bad because I felt like I should have had more compassion for people.
But you see thats the kind of thinking that brings me stress. I feel like its wrong for me to not care what others think and to not care so much about other people. I don't want to turn into a jerk and thats what I felt like sometimes when using the sedona method. But I think it was just more OCD like thinking. I mean I think way too much. More than the average person and thats probably what leaves me disconnected. I try to logically understand everything and solve stuff with my head. But it just brings me more stress because the answer doesn't exist.
To let go seems so wrong to me because then I worry that I'll be cold and mean to people, and whats to stop me from this? I hear about starving children in other countries, murders, rape victims, and all this other suffering. It's not my burden to carry and yet I still feel an obligation to hold onto it. Letting go is so simple, but I have such a resistance to being free. I empathize with the world too much, and I can't change the situations, and sometimes I neglect my own needs.
