08-04-2014, 05:37 PM
Hi all
The last 10 days has been quite difficult for me for some reasons. Been listening to this subs for 36 days now and
I Feel like I have hit a wall or something and slipped back in my healing process. Been feeling quite emotional and sad most of the time.
I decided to reflect on it and came to the conclusion that I am nowhere to be over my ex. It has been hard for me to only stay as his friend mentally. I catch myself wanting to chat the way we used to talk and it's just makes me sad how distant it is now.
One thing that hasn't changed is that he is always so nice and sweet in our communication and it constantly reminds me of our relationship and how it was.
I miss him even more then and it doesn't matter if we are not seeing and being intimate. I still have those feelings and they aren't fading as much I would like to.
I was doing so good but I guess unfortunately healing takes time. It´s like being on a roller coaster ride. Some very good days and now period of bad days.
So I made a hard decision, forced myself to drop my coolness and sent him a letter and told him how I felt. Told him that I could not see any other option but that would be the best for me that we'd cut the contact until I've healed completely.
I Hope that he will understand and be open for a friendship after some time when I am ready.
I think its for the best as I am feeling now but it has been hard to not speak to him.
I hope it will take me from this compulsive thinking and pining about the end of the break up many times a day in my head. I can't drop it and I am so sick of thinking this way. Like my mind wants me to suffer.
I've been doing Mindfulness and it is helping and tapping too. Have to keep up that thing as it helps.
I have some new opportunities coming up connected to trainings and to introduce the stuff I've been learning so far. But somehow I have a fear of that I won't be good enough to do this.
This fear of not being good enough is just as a cloud over my head. I feel like I am not good enough in many aspects of my life. Like I was not good enough for my ex, he didn't love me so it must be true? I also feel like I am not good enough to do what I want to do.
I Hope ERPHA will take care of this soon. Been so sick of feeling this way. I know better and that I am as good as everyone else consiously. I just want to be happy. I know I deserve it.
So there is a lots of resistance for now. I have to find a way to connect to that energy frequency inside me where everything is possible. that is so good state of being.
Hope next week will be better for me. Hate feeling so hopeless.
The last 10 days has been quite difficult for me for some reasons. Been listening to this subs for 36 days now and
I Feel like I have hit a wall or something and slipped back in my healing process. Been feeling quite emotional and sad most of the time.
I decided to reflect on it and came to the conclusion that I am nowhere to be over my ex. It has been hard for me to only stay as his friend mentally. I catch myself wanting to chat the way we used to talk and it's just makes me sad how distant it is now.
One thing that hasn't changed is that he is always so nice and sweet in our communication and it constantly reminds me of our relationship and how it was.
I miss him even more then and it doesn't matter if we are not seeing and being intimate. I still have those feelings and they aren't fading as much I would like to.
I was doing so good but I guess unfortunately healing takes time. It´s like being on a roller coaster ride. Some very good days and now period of bad days.
So I made a hard decision, forced myself to drop my coolness and sent him a letter and told him how I felt. Told him that I could not see any other option but that would be the best for me that we'd cut the contact until I've healed completely.
I Hope that he will understand and be open for a friendship after some time when I am ready.
I think its for the best as I am feeling now but it has been hard to not speak to him.
I hope it will take me from this compulsive thinking and pining about the end of the break up many times a day in my head. I can't drop it and I am so sick of thinking this way. Like my mind wants me to suffer.
I've been doing Mindfulness and it is helping and tapping too. Have to keep up that thing as it helps.
I have some new opportunities coming up connected to trainings and to introduce the stuff I've been learning so far. But somehow I have a fear of that I won't be good enough to do this.
This fear of not being good enough is just as a cloud over my head. I feel like I am not good enough in many aspects of my life. Like I was not good enough for my ex, he didn't love me so it must be true? I also feel like I am not good enough to do what I want to do.
I Hope ERPHA will take care of this soon. Been so sick of feeling this way. I know better and that I am as good as everyone else consiously. I just want to be happy. I know I deserve it.
So there is a lots of resistance for now. I have to find a way to connect to that energy frequency inside me where everything is possible. that is so good state of being.
Hope next week will be better for me. Hate feeling so hopeless.
