07-23-2014, 03:58 PM
Thank you Zyggy, 
I've been reading your journal and I have to say it is very impressing. Good job you've been doing!
It empowers me, I realized I have to add some more of tapping into my life, haven't been doing it much lately. When I am about to do it I feel some resistance towards it like I am afraid to peel off the layers and find out about the core of my fears. Strange because I know it will only release it and make me feel better.
Forgot to mention that last time in my journal.
I had a situation last weekend at a party where a drunk aquintance of mine told me that one of my best friends that was btw there, had been talking behind my back and saying some stuff that she was getting very tired of me because of me feeling bad during my BU and all. I felt really bad immediately, it hitted me to the core. I've had a few drinks and didn't see that coming. But I didn't say anything, I just felt that this was all a lie what she said. (that aquintance even has a story of being a liar and she is feeling bad and tries to drag everyone down to her level. ) I know my friend and I know I would have noticed if she would be feeling like I was a burden or annoying to her. Then I just felt annoyed for the fact she was trying to ruin the relationship between my friend and me. But I just stayed calm. When the aquintance left suddenly my friends where asking what happened but. I even refused to make drama out of this and didn't want to tell them. But when one of my friends saw something was wrong and started hugging me and all then the tears came and I finally told them about this and of course this was all a bullshit what she said. I just didn't want to make drama out of a person that doesn't deserve it!
I know I have a fear of being talked behind my back and not fit into a group as I have experienced that once with a group of friends that I left for my own good couple years ago.
What I realized was that I was able to go on and party with my friends and have a good time without much drama. I distangled myself from that situation and listened to my instinct that this couldn't be true. Even after a few drinks where everything tends to get more dramatic. Pretty amazed by that
Been feeling very radiant today.
I've been reading your journal and I have to say it is very impressing. Good job you've been doing!
It empowers me, I realized I have to add some more of tapping into my life, haven't been doing it much lately. When I am about to do it I feel some resistance towards it like I am afraid to peel off the layers and find out about the core of my fears. Strange because I know it will only release it and make me feel better.
Forgot to mention that last time in my journal.
I had a situation last weekend at a party where a drunk aquintance of mine told me that one of my best friends that was btw there, had been talking behind my back and saying some stuff that she was getting very tired of me because of me feeling bad during my BU and all. I felt really bad immediately, it hitted me to the core. I've had a few drinks and didn't see that coming. But I didn't say anything, I just felt that this was all a lie what she said. (that aquintance even has a story of being a liar and she is feeling bad and tries to drag everyone down to her level. ) I know my friend and I know I would have noticed if she would be feeling like I was a burden or annoying to her. Then I just felt annoyed for the fact she was trying to ruin the relationship between my friend and me. But I just stayed calm. When the aquintance left suddenly my friends where asking what happened but. I even refused to make drama out of this and didn't want to tell them. But when one of my friends saw something was wrong and started hugging me and all then the tears came and I finally told them about this and of course this was all a bullshit what she said. I just didn't want to make drama out of a person that doesn't deserve it!
I know I have a fear of being talked behind my back and not fit into a group as I have experienced that once with a group of friends that I left for my own good couple years ago.
What I realized was that I was able to go on and party with my friends and have a good time without much drama. I distangled myself from that situation and listened to my instinct that this couldn't be true. Even after a few drinks where everything tends to get more dramatic. Pretty amazed by that
Been feeling very radiant today.
