Natious's lifechanging EPRHA Complete

[Natious]

Great post, totally understandable.

The "not knowing what is required of your gender" is where I'm at, even still. Especially when I get general advice like "just do what you want/be yourself and go with the flow". Dude, my FLOW is to be a girly child. I like it. It's fun, and it reminds me of childhood. I can tell you with absolute certainty, however, that such a state of being is hardly respected. And yes I can not care what others think, but at some point the responsibility to BE the way that makes people REACT the way you want them to react has to fall on me.

It's like work, you either do the job or you're fired. It may be a "job" to be an alpha for me, and to be a ladies man, but I am hoping that with repeated sub use, I'll get to naturally be it, without having to ignore my old-patterns. I'm hoping the old patterns will just not even be in my mind to consider.

I get exactly what you mean, I guess time and these subs will change that. I also get that with flow, it's different from person to person. For me it seems to be like my lows are low as hell and highs are high as a kid's who just got their favorite toy and a bag of candies.
That is not a bad thing at all, if you read fastlane forums, there's a few guys who are insanely positive and they are the ones that are not only multimillionaires, but wealthy in general.

I'm positive that over time being alpha becomes natural. Having lived a life, not being even close to Alpha, I can imagine that it will be a long journey, long but awesome. I guess it's important to enjoy the process more than the importance of the outcome. I don't live by it as much as I'd want to but I know it's true.

Day 18: BIRTHHHDAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!! I haven't really ever celebrated my birthday due to my past religion, but heck... feels good to be 23.

My birthday gift to myself will be the permission to change and start enjoying that life again (and a 6 stage sub).

Dreams: This one was awesome, sadly can't remember much. It started with me using AM6 in my dreams and I think then seeing the progress.
Later somehow in my dream I managed to meet myself, that person said that he was my subconscious. I got stuck in what my "subconscious me"
said was limbo and told me that he can't help me, I have to get out of it alone. That limbo was some sort of a place with no people, only houses, a bit like in inception I guess.

I can't really remember much of the dream, but I know it was very surreal and very cool.