I might have come off a little bit intrusive, that wasn't my intention.
I think SM would be a great option, seems to me that it also helps with when you sometimes feel like women have power over you by making you react to their shit tests and then comes the want for the things to be the other way around, trying to have power over women. I don't know if that is correct, but in a few SM journals that seemed to be a common ground.
I think it's ego that is involved in a big way. Something that RSD guy explains quite well in one of the videos. I even read it in someone's journal that over time with the help of the subs their ego had nearly disappeared, making them unaffected by anything that people would say.
After thinking for a bit, I don't think the subs are just a placebo effect. On ASC I got this initial placebo confidence boost which then disappeared and seemed to grow gradually.
After all, we have the option to ask for a refund if the sub doesn't work!!
So maybe give that SM a try and see if it helps you.
EDIT: I have realized a few things today. First of all I am starting to discover the good things about me that I so badly tried to hide after being battered by people's opinions of what I should be in order to succeed. That's not how we become strong, that's how we become slaves.
For some time I have made myself believe that I want to control people and get revenge on the world. However I just want to help others become better versions of themselves so in the end they can be free. I still have a lot of that hate and resentment inside, but I also have more clarity about my direction.
I think SM would be a great option, seems to me that it also helps with when you sometimes feel like women have power over you by making you react to their shit tests and then comes the want for the things to be the other way around, trying to have power over women. I don't know if that is correct, but in a few SM journals that seemed to be a common ground.
I think it's ego that is involved in a big way. Something that RSD guy explains quite well in one of the videos. I even read it in someone's journal that over time with the help of the subs their ego had nearly disappeared, making them unaffected by anything that people would say.
After thinking for a bit, I don't think the subs are just a placebo effect. On ASC I got this initial placebo confidence boost which then disappeared and seemed to grow gradually.
After all, we have the option to ask for a refund if the sub doesn't work!!
So maybe give that SM a try and see if it helps you.
EDIT: I have realized a few things today. First of all I am starting to discover the good things about me that I so badly tried to hide after being battered by people's opinions of what I should be in order to succeed. That's not how we become strong, that's how we become slaves.
For some time I have made myself believe that I want to control people and get revenge on the world. However I just want to help others become better versions of themselves so in the end they can be free. I still have a lot of that hate and resentment inside, but I also have more clarity about my direction.
INFP-T
"If you dont work on shedding your emotional and spiritual baggage and egoic nature, then you are still a dead weight in society.. offering nothing.." - Anonymous
"If you dont work on shedding your emotional and spiritual baggage and egoic nature, then you are still a dead weight in society.. offering nothing.." - Anonymous
