Ampers&d Finds His Mojo [SM3.0]

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 31

I don't want to belabour the point, but I had hit a very low point this evening; a mix of anger, despair, and depression. The anger is that others are able to figure out areas of their life with ease, while I've been working for months of different areas, and haven't figured it out. Despair because I think "others have it all figured out"; other musicians are booked in pubs, while I play on the street for chump change. Depression because I'm becoming weary of fighting. Random things have been breaking in the past few days; this electronics piece of my guitar, the strap of one of my bags, my wrist watch strap, and so on. I don't feel that I can effect much power on the world.

I'll keep it at that. I'm tapping on it as we speak. I know that this is classic resistance, and this must mean that removing this resistance will allow something deep inside me to blossom into something beautiful.

I might just jump into Stage 2 out of frustration, but I usually do the right thing, so I'll probably jump into it tomorrow night.