07-18-2014, 11:30 PM
Stage 1, Day 30
Today was another day where I felt some negative emotion; partially an existential crisis of why we're on the planet, and some of the same emotion I had before starting SM, which was the pain of knowing that I didn't have this area of my life handled. I keep seeing pretty women pass by, and I'm hesitant to go up, or go beyond saying something. I likely attribute this to my past history of creeping women out, and putting in a lot of effort.
And, of course, two separate guys, unaffiliated with anything, casually start chatting me up about the bi-Ble and other bi-Ble-related things, while I'm busking. Both happened within 5 minutes of one another, and they kept me in captive audience (wouldn't let me go)
While busking, some women passed by, and I simply wanted to be inside them. At other times, I would be very harsh and critical of their bodies or their personalities. Neither are exactly cool with me. All this did calm down by the end, where I actually was smiling at some stupid stuff.
My day went like this: recovered from last night (noon), signed up for hours in market, ate, finished recording the final 10 days of the guitar program, uploaded everything, learned a new song, went to the market from 9PM - 11:45PM, napped with Sleep Magic, went back to the market from 2 - 3AM, and now I'm back home. I'll be using Hypersleep for the first time, and it'd be really cool if it works. I probably made 20$ for that amount of time, which is oddly small, and rather pathetic. But it's a very weird weekend, kind of like my city's market is a set off a movie, with cut and dry extras walking past.
Time for bed!
Today was another day where I felt some negative emotion; partially an existential crisis of why we're on the planet, and some of the same emotion I had before starting SM, which was the pain of knowing that I didn't have this area of my life handled. I keep seeing pretty women pass by, and I'm hesitant to go up, or go beyond saying something. I likely attribute this to my past history of creeping women out, and putting in a lot of effort.
And, of course, two separate guys, unaffiliated with anything, casually start chatting me up about the bi-Ble and other bi-Ble-related things, while I'm busking. Both happened within 5 minutes of one another, and they kept me in captive audience (wouldn't let me go)
While busking, some women passed by, and I simply wanted to be inside them. At other times, I would be very harsh and critical of their bodies or their personalities. Neither are exactly cool with me. All this did calm down by the end, where I actually was smiling at some stupid stuff.
My day went like this: recovered from last night (noon), signed up for hours in market, ate, finished recording the final 10 days of the guitar program, uploaded everything, learned a new song, went to the market from 9PM - 11:45PM, napped with Sleep Magic, went back to the market from 2 - 3AM, and now I'm back home. I'll be using Hypersleep for the first time, and it'd be really cool if it works. I probably made 20$ for that amount of time, which is oddly small, and rather pathetic. But it's a very weird weekend, kind of like my city's market is a set off a movie, with cut and dry extras walking past.
Time for bed!
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
