Thanks for your input Maniac,
Well I guess I have built quite the mask on myself over the years, I've tried to hide everything behind a smile avoiding conflict and being the nice guy. Well I guess that has taken me more away from the real me (Alpha, Hell yeah!) than I want to be. Now I'm in a place between the rock and bottom of a well or something.
The thing is that I actually don't want them to change with one day, that would be too much of a hop and I wouldn't know where the change comes from, which wouldn't give me the feeling of confidence in my long term change. In order to feel confident that I have truly changed I guess I need exactly what that program promises to do: Show me the errors of my past and slowly bring on the change
I skipped yesterday completely since I went out and drank way too much again. So today I started from day 1.
Dreams: This was an interesting journey, to make it short I saw that I had found some sort of a place that had hidden paintings (of which one was worth like $10m). I went to find a buyer for the most expensive one and then I suddenly forgot where they were. I kept searching all over the place only to find myself in a basement in the middle of nowhere. In the basement there was a metal bath that had a fat woman whose head was cut off, and weirdly enough I don't remember being afraid. Then the owner came with a whole lot of friends and I somehow started talking in a kissass manner (and started feeling some strong fear and insecurity), trying to fit in and stuff. That's when I woke up. One heck of a weird dream.
In real life I guess I haven't noticed much yet, maybe a bit more relaxed.
EDIT: this is in the wrong place, someone move it to Men's journals please.
Well I guess I have built quite the mask on myself over the years, I've tried to hide everything behind a smile avoiding conflict and being the nice guy. Well I guess that has taken me more away from the real me (Alpha, Hell yeah!) than I want to be. Now I'm in a place between the rock and bottom of a well or something.
The thing is that I actually don't want them to change with one day, that would be too much of a hop and I wouldn't know where the change comes from, which wouldn't give me the feeling of confidence in my long term change. In order to feel confident that I have truly changed I guess I need exactly what that program promises to do: Show me the errors of my past and slowly bring on the change
I skipped yesterday completely since I went out and drank way too much again. So today I started from day 1.
Dreams: This was an interesting journey, to make it short I saw that I had found some sort of a place that had hidden paintings (of which one was worth like $10m). I went to find a buyer for the most expensive one and then I suddenly forgot where they were. I kept searching all over the place only to find myself in a basement in the middle of nowhere. In the basement there was a metal bath that had a fat woman whose head was cut off, and weirdly enough I don't remember being afraid. Then the owner came with a whole lot of friends and I somehow started talking in a kissass manner (and started feeling some strong fear and insecurity), trying to fit in and stuff. That's when I woke up. One heck of a weird dream.
In real life I guess I haven't noticed much yet, maybe a bit more relaxed.
EDIT: this is in the wrong place, someone move it to Men's journals please.
INFP-T
"If you dont work on shedding your emotional and spiritual baggage and egoic nature, then you are still a dead weight in society.. offering nothing.." - Anonymous
"If you dont work on shedding your emotional and spiritual baggage and egoic nature, then you are still a dead weight in society.. offering nothing.." - Anonymous
