Thanks guys.
Yeah, it's the reason I stopped a wrestle we had the first time that nearly ended up in a fight and didn't continue when he put me in a headlock. He did let go when I didn't continue it. I've been in way too many fights when I did security and don't want them anymore, let alone a guy who's meant to be my friend. And there's always that danger, I don't think he's been in real fights but he did mma for a fair while and is a muscular guy.
Interesing way to put it, but yeah with my realization that he never did it until I started losing weight and feeling better about myself it makes sense.
No.. i'm no longer content with that mediocrity. Like sitting at their house and watching tv and having them whinge about everybody else. On nights like tonight it's hardest, I went out with a couple of old friends (nothing to do with the group i've been talking about) and had fun, but they went home early and I didn't feel like going out by myself. Usually i'd go see these 'friends' but i'd rather come home and read and listen to some self development stuff.
It's hard to say, it was just a theory I had. Because after that they all seemed to talk to me less and especially since I confronted him and stood up to him they all basically cut off all contact with me. I guess they aren't used to me standing up for myself like that.
I don't mind going out, though in my town I usually hate it because of the people and the vibe. But i'd rather doing stuff like tonight where I was hanging out with 2 friends, one was djing from a shopping trolley and we were walking around the street, it was the most fun saturday i've had for ages.. unfortunately the battery ran out though.
I usually prefer gatherings with friends and doing fun stuff over clubs, just force myself to go to them sometimes as I want to meet girls.
Oh wow.. that sentence really hit me.. you've summed it up perfectly.
These friends are a bit like that, the 'alpha' guy lies alot, and him and his brothers are always talking shit about people and saying "so and so is a fuckhead" (even their friends) so I can bet they do it about me too. And i've really lost interest in doing that, I never liked it but got caught up in it. Now distancing myself from them that really turns me off.
I've definately developed alot more self respect.. and some of those other things do match a few of these guys... especially the 'alpha' guy who has always been the leader, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's talked alot of shit about me trying to turn them against me.
So if I see them at the gym i'll talk to them, but i'm not going to go out of my way to hang out with them. I've always had issues making new friends, but I intend to work on it and make better friends who will encourage me and are positive.
-Ben
Quote:I had friends who always wanted to fight just to prove something. That is so low value, I hate that kind of behavior. Back then I was still a kid but just the idea of going out with friend like that again : that would be a straight no for me. A real man, I not even talking about Alpha here does not need to fight to prove something.
Yeah, it's the reason I stopped a wrestle we had the first time that nearly ended up in a fight and didn't continue when he put me in a headlock. He did let go when I didn't continue it. I've been in way too many fights when I did security and don't want them anymore, let alone a guy who's meant to be my friend. And there's always that danger, I don't think he's been in real fights but he did mma for a fair while and is a muscular guy.
Quote:Sounds like a bitchass who is unwilling to accept your shine coming through. the shine that is swallowing and totally enshrouding his perceived alpha status.
Interesing way to put it, but yeah with my realization that he never did it until I started losing weight and feeling better about myself it makes sense.
Quote:are you ok wit being mediocre and keep them pleased or aim for your highest level and be ok with losing a couple of friends even if means walking a solo path for a while?
No.. i'm no longer content with that mediocrity. Like sitting at their house and watching tv and having them whinge about everybody else. On nights like tonight it's hardest, I went out with a couple of old friends (nothing to do with the group i've been talking about) and had fun, but they went home early and I didn't feel like going out by myself. Usually i'd go see these 'friends' but i'd rather come home and read and listen to some self development stuff.
Quote:Hm, I don't necessarily see a connection here. I mean, if they really want to talk to you, they would anyway. However, you mentioned you feel shy in groups. I think it's the more likely reason that you appear shy and therefore not as approachable you could be.
It's hard to say, it was just a theory I had. Because after that they all seemed to talk to me less and especially since I confronted him and stood up to him they all basically cut off all contact with me. I guess they aren't used to me standing up for myself like that.
Quote:It sounds like my friends when I use to go out with them at night.
I don't mind going out, though in my town I usually hate it because of the people and the vibe. But i'd rather doing stuff like tonight where I was hanging out with 2 friends, one was djing from a shopping trolley and we were walking around the street, it was the most fun saturday i've had for ages.. unfortunately the battery ran out though.
I usually prefer gatherings with friends and doing fun stuff over clubs, just force myself to go to them sometimes as I want to meet girls.
Quote:Once one starts to develop respect / integrity, those that are lying, cheating, dishonest, under-handing, corrupted, self-serving, arrogant, etc. will be repelled.
Oh wow.. that sentence really hit me.. you've summed it up perfectly.
These friends are a bit like that, the 'alpha' guy lies alot, and him and his brothers are always talking shit about people and saying "so and so is a fuckhead" (even their friends) so I can bet they do it about me too. And i've really lost interest in doing that, I never liked it but got caught up in it. Now distancing myself from them that really turns me off.
I've definately developed alot more self respect.. and some of those other things do match a few of these guys... especially the 'alpha' guy who has always been the leader, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's talked alot of shit about me trying to turn them against me.
So if I see them at the gym i'll talk to them, but i'm not going to go out of my way to hang out with them. I've always had issues making new friends, but I intend to work on it and make better friends who will encourage me and are positive.
-Ben
