06-20-2014, 04:07 AM
Day 155 - 159
Results of Stage 5: More assertive, I tell my opinion more easily and without fear, less fear overall, I am more at ease with people, don't give a **** what others think about me.
But I still have issues like Social Anxiety. Yesterday I was working in the changing rooms of the clothes shop I work at and I saw a guy (who I know is gay) waiting for his turn to use the changing rooms. I was scared ! Really scared ! That guy scared me. That's an old response I used to have to other people. Whenever I was seeing someone I thought was better than me, I was scared. And it happened today with that guy. I had to talk to him because I had to ask him how many clothes he had to try, and it scared me so much ! But he went away once he saw me, I think he was scared too (I remember he was a really shy guy).
My breakup was becoming more manageable but yesterday and today I was very sad and angry at my exbf. I think that's because yesterday was the prom of my old school (he is in my old school) and we had planned (when we were still together) to go there together. I was waiting for that night so much ! I really wanted to go there with him, dance with him, ... But he broke up with me so I didn't go to the prom. I saw photos on Facebook and he was so beautiful in his suit ! And it made me sad. And angry because he broke up with me. I want him so bad !
I am also becoming impatient with AM5. This program is just driving me nuts ! Yes I am getting good results, but I feel like a plateau and I want to switch subs ! I will not do it of course, I've not done 5 months of AM for nothing ! But I do want to run LTU (or EPRHA as Shannon recommended to me) to get rid of all those bad emotions. I have a widget on my phone which tells me how much time left there is before I finish AM5. I really want to finish this program quickly, but there are still 33 nights for me to do :/ That's sooo long ! I will not break the momentum I have created by listening to it for 5 months, but I really do want to. I want to switch to EPRHA today ! I will not do it but I think I am hating AM5 at the moment.
Last night of Stage 5 tonight, let's see what Stage 6 will bring to the table. I hope it will balance my emotions because they have been all over the place since I have started Stage 5.
See ya guys,
-Adri
Results of Stage 5: More assertive, I tell my opinion more easily and without fear, less fear overall, I am more at ease with people, don't give a **** what others think about me.
But I still have issues like Social Anxiety. Yesterday I was working in the changing rooms of the clothes shop I work at and I saw a guy (who I know is gay) waiting for his turn to use the changing rooms. I was scared ! Really scared ! That guy scared me. That's an old response I used to have to other people. Whenever I was seeing someone I thought was better than me, I was scared. And it happened today with that guy. I had to talk to him because I had to ask him how many clothes he had to try, and it scared me so much ! But he went away once he saw me, I think he was scared too (I remember he was a really shy guy).
My breakup was becoming more manageable but yesterday and today I was very sad and angry at my exbf. I think that's because yesterday was the prom of my old school (he is in my old school) and we had planned (when we were still together) to go there together. I was waiting for that night so much ! I really wanted to go there with him, dance with him, ... But he broke up with me so I didn't go to the prom. I saw photos on Facebook and he was so beautiful in his suit ! And it made me sad. And angry because he broke up with me. I want him so bad !
I am also becoming impatient with AM5. This program is just driving me nuts ! Yes I am getting good results, but I feel like a plateau and I want to switch subs ! I will not do it of course, I've not done 5 months of AM for nothing ! But I do want to run LTU (or EPRHA as Shannon recommended to me) to get rid of all those bad emotions. I have a widget on my phone which tells me how much time left there is before I finish AM5. I really want to finish this program quickly, but there are still 33 nights for me to do :/ That's sooo long ! I will not break the momentum I have created by listening to it for 5 months, but I really do want to. I want to switch to EPRHA today ! I will not do it but I think I am hating AM5 at the moment.
Last night of Stage 5 tonight, let's see what Stage 6 will bring to the table. I hope it will balance my emotions because they have been all over the place since I have started Stage 5.
See ya guys,
-Adri
