11-24-2010, 11:07 AM
11/24/10
Today was a good day. I really learned a lot more about what works for me when dealing with my anxiety. I've come to realize that when I practiced the sedona method there was so much emphasis on accepting the emotion and releasing it. I never truly owned my anxiety and that is what I'm coming to terms with now. Today I pretty much learned that all I need to do is learn how to breathe properly, when you breathe properly it truly is amazing how much better you feel.
Anyway I did a short meditation session before I went to my first class this morning. Basically all I did was focus on deep breathing, expanding my belly, and feeling that calm peaceful feeling. After a few minutes I opened my eyes and saw the world very differently. I was in the present moment, but I didn't have to try, I was just there. For the first time in a long time I actually felt ok. The anxiety was still there, but it was more of a reminder that I am human and that its ok. I would rather be comfortable being uncomfortable, that sounds weird, but it feels like the right thing to say.
Anxiety created a filter in my head for the longest time. My first response to fear was usually anger, camouflaged as the "I don't need human interaction like everyone else" response. When I reduced my anxiety I finally realized how protective of myself I was being and how the anxiety was creating a barrier between me and other people. I always saw other people as a threat, whether or not I realized it consciously.
So today I talked to the girl from my monday class again. I got to know a lot more about her and the conversations went a little easier. The anxiety didn't stop me from saying what I wanted to say and I was just being my natural self. Not completely confident though lol, but I don't need to be. I was being real with her, not being fake. I always wanted to talk to her, but I never really pushed myself enough. She says she's shy and this is the first real interaction she has had in this class. I feel bad because she is such a nice girl and really down to earth. A lot of shy people are really great, its just that people misconstrue that shyness as indifference and arrogance so they tend to get isolated. I felt like I could connect with her well because of our similar backgrounds.
I still had the physical anxiety symptoms. By the time class was over my mouth was bone-dry and I was really hot. But I left feeling really happy. I used to read a lot of books on dating and whatnot because I was always lousy with girls. They always stressed confidence, and if you were nervous then you would blow the whole thing. It isn't true at all. Confidence is good, but I see confidence as accepting your nervousness or your quirky traits and letting others see that you are ok with them. Hiding them and denying them is what will turn people off from you because they know you are hiding something and not being yourself.
Today was a good day. I really learned a lot more about what works for me when dealing with my anxiety. I've come to realize that when I practiced the sedona method there was so much emphasis on accepting the emotion and releasing it. I never truly owned my anxiety and that is what I'm coming to terms with now. Today I pretty much learned that all I need to do is learn how to breathe properly, when you breathe properly it truly is amazing how much better you feel.
Anyway I did a short meditation session before I went to my first class this morning. Basically all I did was focus on deep breathing, expanding my belly, and feeling that calm peaceful feeling. After a few minutes I opened my eyes and saw the world very differently. I was in the present moment, but I didn't have to try, I was just there. For the first time in a long time I actually felt ok. The anxiety was still there, but it was more of a reminder that I am human and that its ok. I would rather be comfortable being uncomfortable, that sounds weird, but it feels like the right thing to say.
Anxiety created a filter in my head for the longest time. My first response to fear was usually anger, camouflaged as the "I don't need human interaction like everyone else" response. When I reduced my anxiety I finally realized how protective of myself I was being and how the anxiety was creating a barrier between me and other people. I always saw other people as a threat, whether or not I realized it consciously.
So today I talked to the girl from my monday class again. I got to know a lot more about her and the conversations went a little easier. The anxiety didn't stop me from saying what I wanted to say and I was just being my natural self. Not completely confident though lol, but I don't need to be. I was being real with her, not being fake. I always wanted to talk to her, but I never really pushed myself enough. She says she's shy and this is the first real interaction she has had in this class. I feel bad because she is such a nice girl and really down to earth. A lot of shy people are really great, its just that people misconstrue that shyness as indifference and arrogance so they tend to get isolated. I felt like I could connect with her well because of our similar backgrounds.
I still had the physical anxiety symptoms. By the time class was over my mouth was bone-dry and I was really hot. But I left feeling really happy. I used to read a lot of books on dating and whatnot because I was always lousy with girls. They always stressed confidence, and if you were nervous then you would blow the whole thing. It isn't true at all. Confidence is good, but I see confidence as accepting your nervousness or your quirky traits and letting others see that you are ok with them. Hiding them and denying them is what will turn people off from you because they know you are hiding something and not being yourself.
