11-22-2010, 05:37 PM
It's great that you're actually allowing yourself to feel the anxiety, instead of just thinking that you're powerless over your emotions. The past few months it's been pretty revelating to me to see what great bull**** stories our fears and negativity has spun together in order to keep ourselves from being yourself.
With ASC I noticed that I had less incriminating thoughts than before, and I had less issues with showing myself towards others, and it also introduced a new sort of calmness into me along with putting more emphasis on my positive/strong points. And when I started using Overcome Social Anxiety I actually started drawing energy from crowds, in a sense that it gave me an incredible adrenaline rush instead of just feeling miserable and wanting to hide from them. I actually started going to places that I usually would avoid, would even joke around with shop clerks and whatnot, and it was great feeling the anxiety but then again being able to oversee it. What can I say these first few trials were ****ing great.
It's pretty strange but then again liberating to see your personal dialogue go from being fear based and demeaning to yourself towards being appreciative and comforting, and just making your anxiety in some sort of a game. Even if you mess up a social interaction you won't feel the need to start placing labels on yourself (or your whole self) that for example you're no good, and that you'll never change. You'll just see it as experience. Also you're allowed to fail, you don't have to do everything perfect the first time. I used to think that I would ruin someones entire day if I messed up an interaction, turns out that they barely if at all have forgotten about it or just don't care.
Also there is little good reason to belittle or even compare your experiences and accomplishments with other people, even if you didn't mean it in that way. If it's huge to you, it's huge to you. That's all what matters. Just don't compare others to make yourself feel better or worse, in the end you'll always lose.
From reading your journal it actually inspired me to start reading upon meditation and start meditating (somewhat properly) again, been feeling pretty solid and composed the last couple days, and will keep it as a daily "routine". So thanks for that.
With ASC I noticed that I had less incriminating thoughts than before, and I had less issues with showing myself towards others, and it also introduced a new sort of calmness into me along with putting more emphasis on my positive/strong points. And when I started using Overcome Social Anxiety I actually started drawing energy from crowds, in a sense that it gave me an incredible adrenaline rush instead of just feeling miserable and wanting to hide from them. I actually started going to places that I usually would avoid, would even joke around with shop clerks and whatnot, and it was great feeling the anxiety but then again being able to oversee it. What can I say these first few trials were ****ing great.
It's pretty strange but then again liberating to see your personal dialogue go from being fear based and demeaning to yourself towards being appreciative and comforting, and just making your anxiety in some sort of a game. Even if you mess up a social interaction you won't feel the need to start placing labels on yourself (or your whole self) that for example you're no good, and that you'll never change. You'll just see it as experience. Also you're allowed to fail, you don't have to do everything perfect the first time. I used to think that I would ruin someones entire day if I messed up an interaction, turns out that they barely if at all have forgotten about it or just don't care.
Also there is little good reason to belittle or even compare your experiences and accomplishments with other people, even if you didn't mean it in that way. If it's huge to you, it's huge to you. That's all what matters. Just don't compare others to make yourself feel better or worse, in the end you'll always lose.
From reading your journal it actually inspired me to start reading upon meditation and start meditating (somewhat properly) again, been feeling pretty solid and composed the last couple days, and will keep it as a daily "routine". So thanks for that.
