11-21-2010, 07:59 AM
11/21/10
Just figured I'd post another little entry in here. Not so much what happened, but what I've come to discover about myself. I've found that through the years I've attempted to make myself invincible by not really allowing myself to be who I naturally am. Whenever I'd go into a place that gave me anxiety I'd become a different person and I would shell off myself from other people. I was always very aloof and because I didn't want to be vulnerable tended to be very shallow. It was all to protect some perfect image of myself and my ego.
So I've come to the realization that anxiety doesn't make me any less of a person. Trying to hide that anxiety and pretend I'm someone I'm not does however. So my goal now is whenever I'm around people and have anxiety is to make myself feel vulnerable. To make myself aware that I WILL receive negative judgment because not everyone will like you and that is a fact. It is all part of being human and coming to terms that I'm not perfect and accepting that.
From now on I'm going to reassure myself that I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I'm just going to be myself. I've never realized how much of a perfectionist attitude I've had up until this point, but it's all coming together like pieces of a puzzle.
Just figured I'd post another little entry in here. Not so much what happened, but what I've come to discover about myself. I've found that through the years I've attempted to make myself invincible by not really allowing myself to be who I naturally am. Whenever I'd go into a place that gave me anxiety I'd become a different person and I would shell off myself from other people. I was always very aloof and because I didn't want to be vulnerable tended to be very shallow. It was all to protect some perfect image of myself and my ego.
So I've come to the realization that anxiety doesn't make me any less of a person. Trying to hide that anxiety and pretend I'm someone I'm not does however. So my goal now is whenever I'm around people and have anxiety is to make myself feel vulnerable. To make myself aware that I WILL receive negative judgment because not everyone will like you and that is a fact. It is all part of being human and coming to terms that I'm not perfect and accepting that.
From now on I'm going to reassure myself that I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I'm just going to be myself. I've never realized how much of a perfectionist attitude I've had up until this point, but it's all coming together like pieces of a puzzle.
