11-18-2010, 07:06 PM
(11-17-2010, 07:15 PM)mat422 Wrote:(11-17-2010, 06:27 PM)benjamin Wrote: Going along with the sedona method philosophy, anything like this 'problem' of 'being a loner' isn't the problem, it's you beating yourself up about it. If you are totally happy and okay being by yourself, that's fine.
Yeah, its hard to tell sometimes and I feel like I'm very critical of myself. Some days I do like talking to people, other days I just want to be alone. Even in that last post I was critical about how I should be more open to people, but I see its just another attempt to try to fix myself and not genuinely accept who I am. It's a way to run from my emotions and come up with a strategy instead of just living through it and accepting it. I will definitely keep pushing my comfort zone little by little, but right now my priorities aren't really focused on becoming popular and having a lot of friends.
Right now maybe I'm just going through a slump and I shouldn't analyze whats going on. Maybe I should just accept these emotions and make the best of my situation. Sometimes I wonder if I'm depressed because I don't talk to enough people or if its depression causing a lack of interest. Either way its still an emotional struggle that I've yet to fully get under control. It fluctuates a lot. But thats why I decided to try this subliminal because I think I do have issues to some degree with my subconscious mind.
I used to go to therapy, didn't help one bit. Probably because the guy was very incompetent and just asserted over and over that having anxiety wasn't a bad thing and I should just embrace it. That was just his excuse because he knew he couldn't actually do anything to help me. I understand the whole accept anxiety and don't judge it, but I believe anxiety stems from subconscious beliefs that are firmly rooted and those need to be addressed.
My mind is a jumbled mess right now, I don't even know what to do anymore so I'm just gonna quit thinking about it and just try to live my life.
Hey Mat,
I just want to draw from personal experience and my psychology background, that some people are naturally more introverted and others more extroverted. Most people are a mix of the two and may lean more in one direction than the other. This means that if you tend to be more introverted that you draw more of your energy from being alone, which is totally fine. I feel like you're judging yourself perhaps too harshly for being more of an introvert. Extroverted people thrive on interactions with others and often don't like being alone.
I consider myself to be an extroverted introvert, meaning that I used to be really introverted and have worked hard to become more extroverted. It sounds like you're trying to do the same thing. What this meant for me is that I would have days where I drew my energy from other people, and then other days I got my energy from being left alone. It used to confuse me as to why I was this way, but I've learned over the years that it's ok and I just need to pay close attention to what my mood is on any particular day. Don't force yourself to be social if you're not feeling it that day, and don't judge yourself for it. I purposefully will not go out and do social things unless I'm in in an extroverted space because I know I won't enjoy myself and I don't want to put on a fake face. But, if I spend too much time alone or don't get out enough, I start to get depressed. So it's a balancing act.
When I get overwhelmed or stressed out, it takes all my energy, so I don't feel like being social. Lately, I've been an introvert. Starting a new job and moving does that to you. So stress can have a lot to do with it too, but just keep in mind that it's ok to have different social needs day by day. You just have to be true to yourself and not judge based on how you think you should be. Over time, when you get more comfortable with being an extroverted introvert, the anxiety and self confidence will get better too. At least it did for me.
