11-15-2010, 02:48 PM
11/15/10
And I'm back for another exciting journal entry, lol. No not really, but I think its important to write down any little changes to give me the added motivation boost.
Today I woke up dead tired. I usually am pretty tired on mondays anyway, so that didn't come as too much of a surprise. I was a little more tired than usual, which means 1 of 2 things. One, the ocean waves subliminal disrupted my sleep pattern somewhat. Or two, the subliminal is really knocking around my subconscious mind and its draining me. I'd like to think its the second one, but I can't be too sure.
Overall I'd like to say the subliminal is really kicking in. Not drastically, but very subtly. At this point in my life I can't even imagine what it will feel like having unshakable confidence. I've gone all my life with lack of confidence, so I can't even fathom how much freedom I'm going to have. I'd have to liken it to Plato's cave or being free from the matrix.
The most interesting effect of this subliminal for me was I realized that I was much more at peace. I had in the past tried to be in the present moment like Eckhart Tolle advised, but it just put more mental strain on me. Now its kind of like auto-pilot, I don't have to worry about being present because I already am.
Oh I also caught a few glances from girls on campus today, but I was only really able to make eye contact with a few of them. Anyway thats enough of an achievement for me because I'm usually so anxious I can't look ANYONE in the eyes without getting really anxious. Its funny though because once I made eye contact with them they look away nervously, haha girls are funny and just as self conscious as guys sometimes. I'd like to think through my years of meditation I give off a powerful presence, but sometimes I give off a vibe that scares people. Its probably from the anxiety, I unconsciously toughen up and people probably pick up on it.
And I'm back for another exciting journal entry, lol. No not really, but I think its important to write down any little changes to give me the added motivation boost.
Today I woke up dead tired. I usually am pretty tired on mondays anyway, so that didn't come as too much of a surprise. I was a little more tired than usual, which means 1 of 2 things. One, the ocean waves subliminal disrupted my sleep pattern somewhat. Or two, the subliminal is really knocking around my subconscious mind and its draining me. I'd like to think its the second one, but I can't be too sure.
Overall I'd like to say the subliminal is really kicking in. Not drastically, but very subtly. At this point in my life I can't even imagine what it will feel like having unshakable confidence. I've gone all my life with lack of confidence, so I can't even fathom how much freedom I'm going to have. I'd have to liken it to Plato's cave or being free from the matrix.
The most interesting effect of this subliminal for me was I realized that I was much more at peace. I had in the past tried to be in the present moment like Eckhart Tolle advised, but it just put more mental strain on me. Now its kind of like auto-pilot, I don't have to worry about being present because I already am.
Oh I also caught a few glances from girls on campus today, but I was only really able to make eye contact with a few of them. Anyway thats enough of an achievement for me because I'm usually so anxious I can't look ANYONE in the eyes without getting really anxious. Its funny though because once I made eye contact with them they look away nervously, haha girls are funny and just as self conscious as guys sometimes. I'd like to think through my years of meditation I give off a powerful presence, but sometimes I give off a vibe that scares people. Its probably from the anxiety, I unconsciously toughen up and people probably pick up on it.
