11-13-2010, 03:11 PM
Thanks for the support it means a lot to me. I'm really determined to get this sorted out and no matter what my mind is telling me I will not stop listening to this subliminal!
12/13/10
So I pretty much listened to it all last night. I don't have high quality speakers so I'm just using the masked subliminal with some pillow speakers. I try to listen to it as loud as possible without disturbing my sleep. Anyway I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood ready to take on my day. I felt a lot better than the day before when I was almost hopeless and ready to quit. I'm thinking this mostly has to do with some anxiety being relieved because now I have an answer to my self confidence issues. It's like having one less thing to worry about. I didn't really do anything today except homework lol. I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow morning to tell if this subliminal actually increases my mood or if its just placebo.
An interesting thing happened when I went to go play the subliminal while doing my homework today. I felt a lot of anxiety and stress. At first I thought it was the homework, but after I turned off the subliminal I felt a lot more at ease. Who knows maybe the ocean waves just aggravated me while I was doing the homework haha. My mind is still trying to get me to quit by using all types of excuses. My favorite one is if I become more self confident I won't be myself anymore, ha. Its really funny how I KNOW I want this, how I don't want to feel like I'm trapped anymore, but a part of me is resisting so much. I definitely get anxiety when I think of listening to the subliminal, but I'm gonna keep on pushing myself.
I think the most painful thing for me is how I'm perfectly capable of handling myself physically, but emotionally I'm a wreck. I used to do MMA, and I got used to getting punched in the face, choked out, kicked, etc. But despite all that if someone rejects me or insults me it hurts so bad and I feel so weak. It sucks in the workplace because my bosses always saw themselves as superior to me in some way, but if they ever got in a fight with me it would be over real fast. I guess thats why I started MMA, I figured if I had enough confidence to fight people in a ring it would help with my social anxiety, but it never did. Oh its so funny how the human mind works sometimes.
12/13/10
So I pretty much listened to it all last night. I don't have high quality speakers so I'm just using the masked subliminal with some pillow speakers. I try to listen to it as loud as possible without disturbing my sleep. Anyway I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood ready to take on my day. I felt a lot better than the day before when I was almost hopeless and ready to quit. I'm thinking this mostly has to do with some anxiety being relieved because now I have an answer to my self confidence issues. It's like having one less thing to worry about. I didn't really do anything today except homework lol. I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow morning to tell if this subliminal actually increases my mood or if its just placebo.
An interesting thing happened when I went to go play the subliminal while doing my homework today. I felt a lot of anxiety and stress. At first I thought it was the homework, but after I turned off the subliminal I felt a lot more at ease. Who knows maybe the ocean waves just aggravated me while I was doing the homework haha. My mind is still trying to get me to quit by using all types of excuses. My favorite one is if I become more self confident I won't be myself anymore, ha. Its really funny how I KNOW I want this, how I don't want to feel like I'm trapped anymore, but a part of me is resisting so much. I definitely get anxiety when I think of listening to the subliminal, but I'm gonna keep on pushing myself.
I think the most painful thing for me is how I'm perfectly capable of handling myself physically, but emotionally I'm a wreck. I used to do MMA, and I got used to getting punched in the face, choked out, kicked, etc. But despite all that if someone rejects me or insults me it hurts so bad and I feel so weak. It sucks in the workplace because my bosses always saw themselves as superior to me in some way, but if they ever got in a fight with me it would be over real fast. I guess thats why I started MMA, I figured if I had enough confidence to fight people in a ring it would help with my social anxiety, but it never did. Oh its so funny how the human mind works sometimes.
