05-26-2014, 09:50 PM
Thanks dude, that's reassuring.
Day 7: My neediness is still there, I'm trying real hard to find chicks on pof just to get a lay..I've been masterbating more frequently, it used to be like once a week to once every 2 weeks, but now it's been 3 days in a row. I've been contacting old hook ups I used to have. One of them which I ignored back in the day after awhile I contacted today, we seem pretty cool again so far, I'm going to her house tomorrow, she was a FWB. I notice even with her I'm more needy, maybe it's just the initial stage but also at the same time, it feels like I'm rebuilding self esteem and alpha male traits by handling my neediness differently. For example today I met a woman on pof, she was a bbw, which means big girl, I was not attracted to her at all but I just wanted to get a lay down, so we met up and she came up with the excuse that she was on her period, so I brushed it off said "So?" and we went to her house, I expected her to give me a blow job, and she denied by saying she was uncomfortable since it's her first meeting, and I looked at her and said, "Uncomfortable?" "okay then I might as well leave" I said and she said okay, and as I was leaving she said "I'm sorry for wasting your time" I didn't even care or felt angry about it. Usually I would've stayed and kept trying to find a way to get her to give me a blow job..just for the sake of one, or even get her to give me it next time but I overcame my neediness and just walked off. So I think my subconscious is trying to fight the new changes by bringing up the neediness side to me at a very high level, and I'm consciously taking care of it better then I normally would have. I'm liking this.
Day 7: My neediness is still there, I'm trying real hard to find chicks on pof just to get a lay..I've been masterbating more frequently, it used to be like once a week to once every 2 weeks, but now it's been 3 days in a row. I've been contacting old hook ups I used to have. One of them which I ignored back in the day after awhile I contacted today, we seem pretty cool again so far, I'm going to her house tomorrow, she was a FWB. I notice even with her I'm more needy, maybe it's just the initial stage but also at the same time, it feels like I'm rebuilding self esteem and alpha male traits by handling my neediness differently. For example today I met a woman on pof, she was a bbw, which means big girl, I was not attracted to her at all but I just wanted to get a lay down, so we met up and she came up with the excuse that she was on her period, so I brushed it off said "So?" and we went to her house, I expected her to give me a blow job, and she denied by saying she was uncomfortable since it's her first meeting, and I looked at her and said, "Uncomfortable?" "okay then I might as well leave" I said and she said okay, and as I was leaving she said "I'm sorry for wasting your time" I didn't even care or felt angry about it. Usually I would've stayed and kept trying to find a way to get her to give me a blow job..just for the sake of one, or even get her to give me it next time but I overcame my neediness and just walked off. So I think my subconscious is trying to fight the new changes by bringing up the neediness side to me at a very high level, and I'm consciously taking care of it better then I normally would have. I'm liking this.
