04-19-2014, 09:19 PM
day 51: Was at my job today and I noticed I'm starting to say what's on my mind, and their mostly positive thoughts, but whatever they are I say them to whoever I feel like. Fear of people talking bad about me or judging me has gone down lots. People are being nicer to me, respecting me a little bit more. I still had a moment where my big ego kicked in but after lots of self talk it cleared and the feeling of people trying to take power over me subsided with positivity and better thoughts.
However right now I'm feeling really down. I feel like I should be at a better place in my life, I feel like maybe I'm trying so hard to be younger and avoiding all the adult life responsibilities. I feel like I should have someone in my life who loves me, who I can hold onto, be in a relationship with but I hold myself back, telling myself the right girl hasn't showed up. So much thoughts are kicking in, hopefully I'm breaking free of this guilt or shame or whatever negativity it is, into something positive.
However right now I'm feeling really down. I feel like I should be at a better place in my life, I feel like maybe I'm trying so hard to be younger and avoiding all the adult life responsibilities. I feel like I should have someone in my life who loves me, who I can hold onto, be in a relationship with but I hold myself back, telling myself the right girl hasn't showed up. So much thoughts are kicking in, hopefully I'm breaking free of this guilt or shame or whatever negativity it is, into something positive.
