03-30-2014, 07:39 AM
Days 74 - 77
I am making some dreams about speaking to other people. I think I still have a mild social anxiety going on. I am not able to speak to anyone I would like to speak to. It scares me. Sometimes I ignore people I know while on the street. That's sad because I lose so much opportunities to make friends. Those dreams mean that something is going on in my mind about speaking to anyone. But as far as I can remember, I've never been able to go speak to strangers in my dreams. It always ends with me trying to motivate myself without any success.
Yesterday and the day before, I was quite sad. Not depressed as I was on stage 2. But nostalgic, thinking about all those opportunities I missed in my life, the decisions I should not have taken.
I've been reading through Shannon's Journal for 4 hours straight yesterday! I don't know why. I was really sleepy but I could not stop, I was fascinated. The subliminal's creation process fascinates me. The "metaphysical" posts Shannon made in his journal are also fascinating, even if I don't understand the half of what Shannon means. But the subliminal's creation process and all the systems Shannon seems to have made to ensure his subliminals are of the highest quality is what fascinates me the most.
I am more and more thinking of running OAA after stage 3 but I still need to have Shannon's approval to do so. I don't want to mess up my AM5 journey. InTheZone told me that AM5 has social things in it so I may as well wait until I've finished AM. But this thing is driving me so much. I want so much to be able to go speak to anyone. It's becoming obsessive.
Have a nice week,
-Adri
I am making some dreams about speaking to other people. I think I still have a mild social anxiety going on. I am not able to speak to anyone I would like to speak to. It scares me. Sometimes I ignore people I know while on the street. That's sad because I lose so much opportunities to make friends. Those dreams mean that something is going on in my mind about speaking to anyone. But as far as I can remember, I've never been able to go speak to strangers in my dreams. It always ends with me trying to motivate myself without any success.
Yesterday and the day before, I was quite sad. Not depressed as I was on stage 2. But nostalgic, thinking about all those opportunities I missed in my life, the decisions I should not have taken.
I've been reading through Shannon's Journal for 4 hours straight yesterday! I don't know why. I was really sleepy but I could not stop, I was fascinated. The subliminal's creation process fascinates me. The "metaphysical" posts Shannon made in his journal are also fascinating, even if I don't understand the half of what Shannon means. But the subliminal's creation process and all the systems Shannon seems to have made to ensure his subliminals are of the highest quality is what fascinates me the most.
I am more and more thinking of running OAA after stage 3 but I still need to have Shannon's approval to do so. I don't want to mess up my AM5 journey. InTheZone told me that AM5 has social things in it so I may as well wait until I've finished AM. But this thing is driving me so much. I want so much to be able to go speak to anyone. It's becoming obsessive.
Have a nice week,
-Adri
