03-26-2014, 06:36 PM
Stage 5, Day 18,
Had "deleria sleep", a phenomena I notice when I'm sick; you're fully conscious of your body, while shifting in and out of dream world, and somehow your decision to toss and turn in bed makes for decisions in the dream world. Say that in my dream I'm outside; the sun has a big smiley face on it, and houses are make out of acorns. I have to visit Miss Piggie and deliver her a flower, so I have to bury myself in the covers and stretch. Then, when there are caterpillars in the way, I roll over twice. Quick! What's 278 divided by 18?? Long division, my boy, long division! Now climb this ladder and tell the coyote to stop quacking from that lemon tree!
tl;dr, "deleria sleep" is very taxing and a pretty sure-fire sign that my brain is numbing me to the pain of being sick.
I wake up with no voice, BUT, it was at 5:15am. I do my morning ritual, and all that cool stuff, then make it to my lab. Right off the bat, maybe 15 minutes into our lab, this girl I know tells me: "Dany, you're really handsome. Too bad you're too young!". And she does right in front of all her 5 lab partners. She's 5 years older; little does she know heheh
My voice is somewhat returned at this point. Nowadays, I love to laugh and always think of stupid shit to make me smile, but it seems to yo-yo, and I create negative scenarios for myself. I suppose that could be a useful technique; yo-yo into a very positive state, and when you bounce into the negative, fEFT tap that shit away.
I accepted an evening shift, but knew I would be late. They were fine with that. I'll spare you the details and skip to work...
TWO of my co-workers shook my hand, one is my boss; notice that I'm an underling quasi-maintenance guy. And though we always talk, never did I expect the hand shake; and twice at that. Something must have clicked since last night (hint: deleria sleep).
I still feel incomplete in some way; I can't think of the exact way to make things better either. I'm still much more satisfied when I do positive things for my life (like practicing, gym, studying, etc.)
Had "deleria sleep", a phenomena I notice when I'm sick; you're fully conscious of your body, while shifting in and out of dream world, and somehow your decision to toss and turn in bed makes for decisions in the dream world. Say that in my dream I'm outside; the sun has a big smiley face on it, and houses are make out of acorns. I have to visit Miss Piggie and deliver her a flower, so I have to bury myself in the covers and stretch. Then, when there are caterpillars in the way, I roll over twice. Quick! What's 278 divided by 18?? Long division, my boy, long division! Now climb this ladder and tell the coyote to stop quacking from that lemon tree!
tl;dr, "deleria sleep" is very taxing and a pretty sure-fire sign that my brain is numbing me to the pain of being sick.
I wake up with no voice, BUT, it was at 5:15am. I do my morning ritual, and all that cool stuff, then make it to my lab. Right off the bat, maybe 15 minutes into our lab, this girl I know tells me: "Dany, you're really handsome. Too bad you're too young!". And she does right in front of all her 5 lab partners. She's 5 years older; little does she know heheh
My voice is somewhat returned at this point. Nowadays, I love to laugh and always think of stupid shit to make me smile, but it seems to yo-yo, and I create negative scenarios for myself. I suppose that could be a useful technique; yo-yo into a very positive state, and when you bounce into the negative, fEFT tap that shit away.
I accepted an evening shift, but knew I would be late. They were fine with that. I'll spare you the details and skip to work...
TWO of my co-workers shook my hand, one is my boss; notice that I'm an underling quasi-maintenance guy. And though we always talk, never did I expect the hand shake; and twice at that. Something must have clicked since last night (hint: deleria sleep).
I still feel incomplete in some way; I can't think of the exact way to make things better either. I'm still much more satisfied when I do positive things for my life (like practicing, gym, studying, etc.)
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
