03-13-2014, 01:42 PM
Day 60 (! Philosophical Reflection on my life Below !)
Only 4 Days left on Stage 2. This stage will have been a real challenge. I wanted to drop the sub a lot of times. But I sticked ! I want to stick to it. Becoming an Alpha Male has been what I've always wanted to become. So I stick because this is the quickest and easiest path I've found. The sub "does all the work for you". By that I mean that it pushes you outside of your comfort zone. This did not happen on Stage 2 by the way. I remained quite comfortable doing things like I've always done. But it was challenging to stick because of the emotional challenges I had to deal with. Mostly sadness on my current social state. I am a guy who comes from really far socially speaking. I dedicated 6 years of my life (and still counting) to learn how to behave socially. I was really uncomfortable with other people. Kind of social anxiety. I have never been diagnosed for it but I may had it. I overcame it by pushing my comfort zone. I went from no friends to a fair amount of friends. Going out to parties. Night life. Boyfriends (that's still a sticking point, I may explain that later but too long and not in the right direction for this post). I learned what I needed to know to behave correctly and create rapport with other people. Not by surfing the internet as most people do. But by experimenting in the real world. I am proud of where I am today. But sad at the same time because I know there's still a lot more to discover. And I don't have the force to continue pushing myself constantly. But it needs to be done. Because I'm not happy with what I've got. And I think I never will. Something pushes me to attain new heights. The mountain has no top for me. The mountain is growing with me, like the mountain and me are one. And maybe that's what the world really is. You. Because you define your world. We all live in different worlds. Because we had different experiences. So you and only you define what can be achieved in your life. It's you who defines the heigth of the mountain. And for me it's infinite. But this never achieved goal makes me sad at times. Because as I'm climbing the mountain, I'm unable to see the ground. Some fogs are hiding it. So I'm not able to know what I have achieved. And this same fog is hiding the top. So I'm not able to know where this path leads me. But I have faith in the process. Everything I've done has led me to subjective success. I failed. But I kept trying. And eventually I took one step further. So we can see success as a path. Not as a goal. Success should never be attained. It does not exist. As we settle down in what we've got, our life starts to feel dull and boring. So you need to keep going. Take a road that leads nowhere but that makes you grow as you progress on it. Obstacles may be in the way. But obstacles are just in your mind. Nothing is real until you decide it is. So my sadness is real to me because I decided it is. Because I decided to be sad of not being able to see the ground. Which is something stupid. I should be proud to be on the path. And now that I decide I should be, I am. Proud of this hidden distance I've traveled. I need to focus on what is going on rather that on what went on. Focus on the path as it is now, not as it was miles before. Keep faith in the path. It will lead me where I need to be.
So stick to this sub. Maybe it will make me do a giant step on the path to the top of the mountain. Even if it doesn't, experience will be acquired during the process that couldn't have been acquired if I did not choose to use the sub. So stick. Wait. Faith.
-Adri
Only 4 Days left on Stage 2. This stage will have been a real challenge. I wanted to drop the sub a lot of times. But I sticked ! I want to stick to it. Becoming an Alpha Male has been what I've always wanted to become. So I stick because this is the quickest and easiest path I've found. The sub "does all the work for you". By that I mean that it pushes you outside of your comfort zone. This did not happen on Stage 2 by the way. I remained quite comfortable doing things like I've always done. But it was challenging to stick because of the emotional challenges I had to deal with. Mostly sadness on my current social state. I am a guy who comes from really far socially speaking. I dedicated 6 years of my life (and still counting) to learn how to behave socially. I was really uncomfortable with other people. Kind of social anxiety. I have never been diagnosed for it but I may had it. I overcame it by pushing my comfort zone. I went from no friends to a fair amount of friends. Going out to parties. Night life. Boyfriends (that's still a sticking point, I may explain that later but too long and not in the right direction for this post). I learned what I needed to know to behave correctly and create rapport with other people. Not by surfing the internet as most people do. But by experimenting in the real world. I am proud of where I am today. But sad at the same time because I know there's still a lot more to discover. And I don't have the force to continue pushing myself constantly. But it needs to be done. Because I'm not happy with what I've got. And I think I never will. Something pushes me to attain new heights. The mountain has no top for me. The mountain is growing with me, like the mountain and me are one. And maybe that's what the world really is. You. Because you define your world. We all live in different worlds. Because we had different experiences. So you and only you define what can be achieved in your life. It's you who defines the heigth of the mountain. And for me it's infinite. But this never achieved goal makes me sad at times. Because as I'm climbing the mountain, I'm unable to see the ground. Some fogs are hiding it. So I'm not able to know what I have achieved. And this same fog is hiding the top. So I'm not able to know where this path leads me. But I have faith in the process. Everything I've done has led me to subjective success. I failed. But I kept trying. And eventually I took one step further. So we can see success as a path. Not as a goal. Success should never be attained. It does not exist. As we settle down in what we've got, our life starts to feel dull and boring. So you need to keep going. Take a road that leads nowhere but that makes you grow as you progress on it. Obstacles may be in the way. But obstacles are just in your mind. Nothing is real until you decide it is. So my sadness is real to me because I decided it is. Because I decided to be sad of not being able to see the ground. Which is something stupid. I should be proud to be on the path. And now that I decide I should be, I am. Proud of this hidden distance I've traveled. I need to focus on what is going on rather that on what went on. Focus on the path as it is now, not as it was miles before. Keep faith in the path. It will lead me where I need to be.
So stick to this sub. Maybe it will make me do a giant step on the path to the top of the mountain. Even if it doesn't, experience will be acquired during the process that couldn't have been acquired if I did not choose to use the sub. So stick. Wait. Faith.
-Adri
