02-24-2014, 07:01 PM
Stage 4, Day 21 @ 10PM
So I went to work, and for the first 2-3 hours, it was very hard to control my emotions; I was holding back intense grief, and had to go to the washroom once to vent a bit.
For a brief moment, I became suicidal; I didn't see the point of anything. I started thinking of ways that I could go about doing it. I was thinking: since our decisions usually wind up hurting other people, why should I continue making decisions? ***GUYS, I'm fine now***
I knew very well that doing that would be an intensely stupid thing to do, based off of no more than 4 hours of feelings. Those feelings did feel like the depths of hell.
That was a VERY intense patch, but it could've been caused by the aftermath of a cheat day, a short night of sleep, a midterm in the morning, or simply resistance to this sub.
I have taken the steps to reduce the emotion, and I will continue to reduce the emotion into oblivion if and when it returns.
So I went to work, and for the first 2-3 hours, it was very hard to control my emotions; I was holding back intense grief, and had to go to the washroom once to vent a bit.
For a brief moment, I became suicidal; I didn't see the point of anything. I started thinking of ways that I could go about doing it. I was thinking: since our decisions usually wind up hurting other people, why should I continue making decisions? ***GUYS, I'm fine now***
I knew very well that doing that would be an intensely stupid thing to do, based off of no more than 4 hours of feelings. Those feelings did feel like the depths of hell.
That was a VERY intense patch, but it could've been caused by the aftermath of a cheat day, a short night of sleep, a midterm in the morning, or simply resistance to this sub.
I have taken the steps to reduce the emotion, and I will continue to reduce the emotion into oblivion if and when it returns.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
