02-23-2014, 02:59 PM
Day 31-32
All I remember from those days is that nothing important happend.
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Stage 2
Day 33 - 42
Hey guys, sorry for this long silent period. Quite a few things happened. I was feeling really depressed and didn't want to do anything. Some days were OK but other days, well I did not want to talk to anybody. I saw an old friend of mine I had not seen for quite a long time. She told me she did not recognize me in some of my actions, that I would have never done those things before. I argued with my teachers, one of them told me to leave the class (she did not want me to drink water and she's drinking all the time!). I did not want to go to school, I did not want to see anyone. This lasted like one week. Two days ago, I pushed myself to go out with some friends. I've had a great time ! Half through the night, some friends left because it was time for them. I stayed with one girl who I really enjoy being with. We were in the same bar as other people of my class (guys I viewed as more alpha than me) so we spent the rest of the night with them. They bored me a lot ! I'm really happy to have been able to look at them from this perspective. They are boring, not amusing, they don't speak about anything ! Well the last half of the night was horrible.
Yesterday and today, I was even more depressed than before ! I don't know why but I started to feel like I was feeling some years before (I was feeling really bad, wanting to cry all the day, thinking nobody loved me, ...). All my projects stayed on hold, since I had lost all my concentration. But today evening, something clicked in my mind. I was looking in the mirror of my bathroom and I felt attractive. I realized I was like every other guy I like. I am still different but it's all right, it's in a good manner now ! I don't know if this feeling will last but I hope so.
Bye guys, have a nice day.
-Adri
All I remember from those days is that nothing important happend.
----------------------------------------
Stage 2
Day 33 - 42
Hey guys, sorry for this long silent period. Quite a few things happened. I was feeling really depressed and didn't want to do anything. Some days were OK but other days, well I did not want to talk to anybody. I saw an old friend of mine I had not seen for quite a long time. She told me she did not recognize me in some of my actions, that I would have never done those things before. I argued with my teachers, one of them told me to leave the class (she did not want me to drink water and she's drinking all the time!). I did not want to go to school, I did not want to see anyone. This lasted like one week. Two days ago, I pushed myself to go out with some friends. I've had a great time ! Half through the night, some friends left because it was time for them. I stayed with one girl who I really enjoy being with. We were in the same bar as other people of my class (guys I viewed as more alpha than me) so we spent the rest of the night with them. They bored me a lot ! I'm really happy to have been able to look at them from this perspective. They are boring, not amusing, they don't speak about anything ! Well the last half of the night was horrible.
Yesterday and today, I was even more depressed than before ! I don't know why but I started to feel like I was feeling some years before (I was feeling really bad, wanting to cry all the day, thinking nobody loved me, ...). All my projects stayed on hold, since I had lost all my concentration. But today evening, something clicked in my mind. I was looking in the mirror of my bathroom and I felt attractive. I realized I was like every other guy I like. I am still different but it's all right, it's in a good manner now ! I don't know if this feeling will last but I hope so.
Bye guys, have a nice day.
-Adri
