02-21-2014, 10:58 PM
Stage 4, It's Day 18 already?!
I'm back at my apartment after a long day of travel. I didn't post for the last couple of days. Here's a summary of my insights:
- I was a pretty creepy guy for much longer than I'd let myself admit; I probably still have some residual creepiness that has to be phased out.
- On a related note, I don't blame women for dating the guys that they like, instead of guys that creep them out, as much as I wished for different. I'm in favour of the notion that there should be more overall-awesome guys around.
- If you don't lead a conversation, you might get sucked into someone's agenda pretty easily, and it gets increasingly harder to get out of it
- Speaking in your target language does more for you than any other modality (listening, reading, etc.)
- Don't jerk off too much; that's probably brain fluid that comes out, cause you start to sound like someone with a mid-double-digit IQ
- On a completely unrelated note, I've come to realise the importance of family, and that I must take some initiative to make contact as well.
- I'll be 22 in about 15 days; that's "old", to the point where my childhood antics are no longer "cute". It's time to behave as a grownup.
- Habits depend on location and cues; upon returning home for my reading week, I adopted most of the habits I used to have back home, especially going to bed late and waking up late.
Going home, I feel pretty beta in general. But I also realise how far I've come in mindset, with inner strength. It's especially around women where I feel my weakness; don't really want to talk with them at times. But I want to connect with women; not knowing how to read the signs might be stunting me. Perhaps they aren't even throwing them. Sometimes, I just want to fuck some women to break some sort of curse that I think I have. I realise that I will eventually completely smash this bs, since I will be working through SM3.0 after this and Life Tune Up.
The occasional frustration I feel would be similar to a UFC fighter being good at ground game, but not actually being able to finish the fight (via submission or knockout). It's being 95% there, but not ever getting to 100% cause I don't know how.
My melatonin pill is kicking in, so I will go pass out and wake up refreshed.
I'm back at my apartment after a long day of travel. I didn't post for the last couple of days. Here's a summary of my insights:
- I was a pretty creepy guy for much longer than I'd let myself admit; I probably still have some residual creepiness that has to be phased out.
- On a related note, I don't blame women for dating the guys that they like, instead of guys that creep them out, as much as I wished for different. I'm in favour of the notion that there should be more overall-awesome guys around.
- If you don't lead a conversation, you might get sucked into someone's agenda pretty easily, and it gets increasingly harder to get out of it
- Speaking in your target language does more for you than any other modality (listening, reading, etc.)
- Don't jerk off too much; that's probably brain fluid that comes out, cause you start to sound like someone with a mid-double-digit IQ
- On a completely unrelated note, I've come to realise the importance of family, and that I must take some initiative to make contact as well.
- I'll be 22 in about 15 days; that's "old", to the point where my childhood antics are no longer "cute". It's time to behave as a grownup.
- Habits depend on location and cues; upon returning home for my reading week, I adopted most of the habits I used to have back home, especially going to bed late and waking up late.
Going home, I feel pretty beta in general. But I also realise how far I've come in mindset, with inner strength. It's especially around women where I feel my weakness; don't really want to talk with them at times. But I want to connect with women; not knowing how to read the signs might be stunting me. Perhaps they aren't even throwing them. Sometimes, I just want to fuck some women to break some sort of curse that I think I have. I realise that I will eventually completely smash this bs, since I will be working through SM3.0 after this and Life Tune Up.
The occasional frustration I feel would be similar to a UFC fighter being good at ground game, but not actually being able to finish the fight (via submission or knockout). It's being 95% there, but not ever getting to 100% cause I don't know how.
My melatonin pill is kicking in, so I will go pass out and wake up refreshed.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
