02-09-2014, 08:10 PM
Stage 4, Day 6
Cheat. day. was... AWESOME*!
I woke up as thought it was Christmas, and made myself a Nutella, honey and marshmellow sandwich. Ate that and then went to the gym. Had an intense workout. I went home and ate whatever junk I had around the house.
Then I went for sushi. Firstly, my favorite sushi place got shut down, and the people I've invited for sushi didn't show up. So I go to another place in the market; it's packed, though I can get a table for two, alone.
I think what I was experiencing was social anxiety, but in the form of wanting to cry. It's very weird. I was able to FasterEFT tap it away with enough time, and then I felt pretty cool, doing my Korean flashcards and shit. I got full on sushi and Coca-cola (OMG that was so good).
Then, I meditate and study some flashcards. Then, I get dressed and get going to a gala that I had planned to attend for a while. The person who invites me decides not to go, so I'm left alone to chat up anyone and everyone. I get into several conversations before dinner (Indian food; dots not feathers) begins. I feel that I'm in the zone. I go to the bathroom, my reflection shows a James Bond like character. I'm James. Fucking. Bond.
Because of a speaker, I was particularly touched so I had the emotion of grief in my energy. After dinner, dancing started, and I was able to let loose.
Women wise, I was able to approach women with whom I had an interest, and some seemed to have an interest. But I'm not feeling it. Every single encounter I have with women makes me want to have some massive game. But it comes with the air of "I want to win by fucking them" which isn't what I really want. I want win-win for both of us. I want fun for both of us. I want it to be hot for both of us. I'm sure that this comes down to vibe and beliefs, as well as practice.
Part of this was that there was an 8 acting like an 11 and God's gift to mankind. Oh well.
This day wraps up nicely. I'm going to fill my "Book of Positive Aspects" with nice things about women and then go to bed. It's a Law of Attraction things; note the things you like and praise them, and you'll have them come to yourself.
Cheat. day. was... AWESOME*!
I woke up as thought it was Christmas, and made myself a Nutella, honey and marshmellow sandwich. Ate that and then went to the gym. Had an intense workout. I went home and ate whatever junk I had around the house.
Then I went for sushi. Firstly, my favorite sushi place got shut down, and the people I've invited for sushi didn't show up. So I go to another place in the market; it's packed, though I can get a table for two, alone.
I think what I was experiencing was social anxiety, but in the form of wanting to cry. It's very weird. I was able to FasterEFT tap it away with enough time, and then I felt pretty cool, doing my Korean flashcards and shit. I got full on sushi and Coca-cola (OMG that was so good).
Then, I meditate and study some flashcards. Then, I get dressed and get going to a gala that I had planned to attend for a while. The person who invites me decides not to go, so I'm left alone to chat up anyone and everyone. I get into several conversations before dinner (Indian food; dots not feathers) begins. I feel that I'm in the zone. I go to the bathroom, my reflection shows a James Bond like character. I'm James. Fucking. Bond.
Because of a speaker, I was particularly touched so I had the emotion of grief in my energy. After dinner, dancing started, and I was able to let loose.
Women wise, I was able to approach women with whom I had an interest, and some seemed to have an interest. But I'm not feeling it. Every single encounter I have with women makes me want to have some massive game. But it comes with the air of "I want to win by fucking them" which isn't what I really want. I want win-win for both of us. I want fun for both of us. I want it to be hot for both of us. I'm sure that this comes down to vibe and beliefs, as well as practice.
Part of this was that there was an 8 acting like an 11 and God's gift to mankind. Oh well.
This day wraps up nicely. I'm going to fill my "Book of Positive Aspects" with nice things about women and then go to bed. It's a Law of Attraction things; note the things you like and praise them, and you'll have them come to yourself.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
