01-17-2014, 08:02 PM
Stage 3, Day 16
This is the s*!t storm. Was feeling good until around 9am in class. I felt extremely insecure and uneasy; I wouldn't really be able to hold eye contact with anyone without crying. I quietly EFT tapped and that was gone at 10.
I felt normal even when I went to the gym, as I started chatting up that one girl. I think that my walking away was a refusal of whatever BS was going down inside of me.
Turns out, that Law of Attraction guy had roped me into going to a MLM pitch on campus. I've been there before; the people are very psyched, the details are vague and the person who invited you starts becoming like a used car salesman, giving too much information, start talking more and is mildly creepy.
The worst is that I had planned to meet with a friend after; she comes to that building (cause I had no idea why he wanted me to meet). I brought my guitar as well. She comes up with me to the conference room.
When I walk into the room, I felt the vibe, and I said to myself "Ohh, shiiiiit". Needless to say, we're gone within 10 minutes. The guy who invited me texted me, being all apologetic. I will keep away from this guy.
I go to an open mic on campus with the girl. We had practiced a song together, and I messed up my part many times. Today is not my day. I felt like my abilities as a musician, one of many years of practice, has been shortcutted.
Now, I feel pretty terrible. This is the s*!t storm, and I will be so awesome when I'm done with this. I am going to play AM exclusively tonight.
This is the s*!t storm. Was feeling good until around 9am in class. I felt extremely insecure and uneasy; I wouldn't really be able to hold eye contact with anyone without crying. I quietly EFT tapped and that was gone at 10.
I felt normal even when I went to the gym, as I started chatting up that one girl. I think that my walking away was a refusal of whatever BS was going down inside of me.
Turns out, that Law of Attraction guy had roped me into going to a MLM pitch on campus. I've been there before; the people are very psyched, the details are vague and the person who invited you starts becoming like a used car salesman, giving too much information, start talking more and is mildly creepy.
The worst is that I had planned to meet with a friend after; she comes to that building (cause I had no idea why he wanted me to meet). I brought my guitar as well. She comes up with me to the conference room.
When I walk into the room, I felt the vibe, and I said to myself "Ohh, shiiiiit". Needless to say, we're gone within 10 minutes. The guy who invited me texted me, being all apologetic. I will keep away from this guy.
I go to an open mic on campus with the girl. We had practiced a song together, and I messed up my part many times. Today is not my day. I felt like my abilities as a musician, one of many years of practice, has been shortcutted.
Now, I feel pretty terrible. This is the s*!t storm, and I will be so awesome when I'm done with this. I am going to play AM exclusively tonight.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
