Ampers&'s Alpha Male Journal [COMPLETE]

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 13

This will speak for itself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlRV73jBseE

I feel that in the video, I'm trying hard (subconsciously) to be precise, but I was tired so I was making sure to be clear and audible.

This might go away later in the stage, or in another stage.

Stage 1, Day 14,

Before work, I got up a little earlier; though it wasn't completely productive
Work went by relatively quickly.

I've had the desire to start busking in the spring, and it's growing. I think it's simply the desire to master the "whole package" element of me as a musician, where I can easily be marketable. Drop me on a street corner with a guitar, and I'll shine. That sort of thing. A busking licence costs 200$ in Ottawa for a year. Very steep considering that Victoria, British Columbia has a yearly licence costing 10$ for a whole year.

But then there was the monetary aspect of it; say I run "Maximum Sales Success" (which I can begin playing as soon as May 6-7, the final days of Stage 6) while going through this phase, I could potentially be racking in the dough while also working a full-time job, or a couple of part times. This would likely require for me to improve my sleeping habits, hence throwing in a sleep related subliminal, "Deep, Restful Sleep" or "Sleep Optimizer" and handling more irregular hours.

In fact, I even thought up a whole plan with this; perform a lot, while developping feelings of opulence (for manifestation's sake), develop talent, have a Bar Code leading to my Facebook page, earn money, build a following, and THEN offer to my custom song offerings; where I write original songs for people on special occasions (they're expensive and my song writing is good (trust me; I can send some MIDI tracks to whoever wants them)), earn more income and a following while creating professional level-grade singles, build an EP, submit the EP to radio stations/show up in person, submit the songs to songwriting contests, potentially get airtime on Canadian radio (they have to broadcast 35-50% Canadian content), get interest from record labels, done deal.

I was shocked to not have thought of such a plan beforehand; now that I have some more confidence than before, I'm actually willing to busk, or do other actions. To actually do these actions is another step.

I've also had another realisation; one major barrier to taking an action is the attachment to the steps have to appear; if you want to start writing a report, you could simply start writing what you come to mind, open up an internet tab for research. If you're attached to how the action of "doing the report" should look, then you'll have this nameless frustration attached to actually doing the action, so you won't do it (procrastinate). We tend to avoid negative emotions.

You'll often have this romanticized version of how it should look, attached in the back of your mind, without realizing it. So you'll put off the action if you don't think your effort will match your mental image. So this is where getting into the moment and taking simple action is so much better than to be thinking all of the time.

I used to take ice baths, and getting out of your mind and simply experiencing the sensations was the single best way to get through them. Because it's not that bad when you're not thinking about it.

I practiced some slide guitar for the first time, on a song from Django Unchained ("Too Old To Die Young") and had a group meeting with members of my one class project, not in that order.

Ironically enough, I'm noticing more and more where I'm failing to get things done and wasting my life away. But that can only frustrate me enough to start taking some big action.