09-21-2013, 05:58 PM
Thanks Fonzy. I feel like dancing gives me a social activity that I can really enjoy. Last night I was talking to a lady while I was dancing and she asked me why I got into dancing. I hadn't really thought about it much but then it hit me. Dancing incorporates two of the things I love most, women and music.
Day 21 of stage 4: Today I went out with a female friend to walk the streets of New York. We had a good time and I really enjoyed the moments. One of the things that I learned about myself on the way home from this day was that I'm really trying to prove to myself that the subliminals are working. I see the changes in my thoughts. I see the changes in other people's reactions to me. The funny thing is that this isn't good enough for me. The reason its not good enough is because I want to quantify my improvement. What can I do now that I couldn't do before? Am I sleeping with more women? Kissing more women? I feel the desire to quantify my results as a source of validation. Its like I want to prove to myself and everyone that it is working.
The other thought that struck me was how consciously I know getting a great woman in my life isn't going to solve my problems, but, I still feel like its true. They always say that you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness with another. Its like I know conceptually that its true but my beliefs tell me otherwise.
I'm more than halfway through AM5 and I've seen some pretty amazing result so far. There is still a lot of work left but I can see it starting to come together. I have decided to stop trying to quantify my results into some sort of number representation of achievement. For me, that would be some slept or kiss so many girls and instead focus on the man I'm becoming. Those types of results are better left for something like SM instead.
Day 21 of stage 4: Today I went out with a female friend to walk the streets of New York. We had a good time and I really enjoyed the moments. One of the things that I learned about myself on the way home from this day was that I'm really trying to prove to myself that the subliminals are working. I see the changes in my thoughts. I see the changes in other people's reactions to me. The funny thing is that this isn't good enough for me. The reason its not good enough is because I want to quantify my improvement. What can I do now that I couldn't do before? Am I sleeping with more women? Kissing more women? I feel the desire to quantify my results as a source of validation. Its like I want to prove to myself and everyone that it is working.
The other thought that struck me was how consciously I know getting a great woman in my life isn't going to solve my problems, but, I still feel like its true. They always say that you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness with another. Its like I know conceptually that its true but my beliefs tell me otherwise.
I'm more than halfway through AM5 and I've seen some pretty amazing result so far. There is still a lot of work left but I can see it starting to come together. I have decided to stop trying to quantify my results into some sort of number representation of achievement. For me, that would be some slept or kiss so many girls and instead focus on the man I'm becoming. Those types of results are better left for something like SM instead.
