About's WM2.0 Journal

[SargeMaximus]

First, my apologies to About for hikjacking your journal. I didn't realize this was someone else's journal to whom I was responding at the time I started.

Second, primarily, I got my point across in a way you understand, Sarge, and that was the goal. There's a few points I'll respond to.

I do thank you for taking the time to respond, it shows you care, which I respect.

The point is, have done well for myself by being honest and owning my choices and reality.

I think I know what you mean. I've had times where I feel like I do something and then instantly retreat from it.

Today at the gym I thought the girl at the desk was wanting to talk to me so I looked at her, but she was talking to someone else so I immediately retreated back to my original thing I was doing.

I got the feeling that I wasn't owning my desire to talk to her and those kinds of things are popping up more now to be honest. It's like AM is pushing me off a cliff and I'm resisting every step of the way, even though I know it's coming. For some reason, I won't just jump.

It's a lot like the feeling I get when it comes to uncomfortable heights. I'm always torn between the fear of falling and an almost uncontrollable urge to jump off the edge.

Crazy stuff.

I think I was making that mistake.

It's ok, I know I'm overbearing at times. My zeal to succeed can definitely come off as desperation. In fact, sometimes I curb my zeal to make myself seem less desperate which is, perhaps, desperation itself.

The difference is that I chose who did or did not have sex with me, and when and where. Not her, and not my gonads. Big difference in the long run.

For sure.

Had I known she was going to do that, or had that propensity, the likelihood of me having sex with her would have dropped off to zero. I was horny, but I wasn't looking to get killed.

Lol, no doubt.

Oh, but I do. You have completely discounted that I can have sex with her whenever I want now. The future does not equal the past. As long as we are both in a situation where we are open to having sex, it can happen. I may not take it, but my access is there whenever I want it, probably for years into the future.

I never thought of it that way. I'm definitely quick to throw people under the bus just because of a simple misunderstanding or misfire. I even do this to myself which is, I believe, a huge factor in why I'm not as successful as I'd like to be. The more mistakes you make, the faster you learn, and all that. I'm just hung up on being a sniper, what I gotta do is get myself an M60 and just fire away.

Burning bridges isn't very effective. Just because she's unsuitable NOW, or unavailable NOW, doesn't mean she will be in an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year...

Definitely. I've burned bridges like no tomorrow in my life. It's an old habit to get out of. Especially when it comes to women because I believe you've got one shot with a girl, and if you mess it up, she's never going to want you. Bad mindset, I know, but it's there.

Go look up the definition of opinion. Then tell me that a disctionary has value because it is opinion. Then go look up the definitions of the words love, like, and ****.

Lol, I didn't mean anything by it, besides, why would I do that? To internalize more opinions that I don't share?

I'm completely lost here. ><

So you need to learn how to think like someone else then. Put yourself in her shoes, and think in terms of what she is experiencing. Then adjust your approach to match what she would be comfortable with, respond well to, and so forth. It's important to understand female psychology for your society, her body language, be able to read vocal cues, facial cues, and interpret her actions. You have to learn to understand what her personality is and how to interact with it.

One thing I can share is that I have noted a significant correlation between certain body types and their ability to handle "no tact". The ones who handle it best in females are the tall athletic ones. Then comes the tiny petite ones. It's not a hard and fast rule, but it's a good rule of thumb.

Tall athletic women can dig no tact? Sweet. Those are the ones I like. At any rate, I'll be more conscious of body language from here on out. Don't know what I'm looking for, but I can tell the difference between a good reaction and a bad reaction. So I might as well start there.

As I said above, tact is the art of understanding how to adjust what you say and do to be comfortably received by the person you are dealing with. To do that, you have to understand the person you are dealing with. Barring that, the general rules of tact are commonly called "good manners".

Good manners=Nice Guy syndrome I always thought, no? I must admit I have trouble with my manners around women because I always assume I'm being a nice guy and ruining my chances. Being an A-hole just doesn't feel right, and I don't do what doesn't feel right so yeah. I'm noticing I'm trapping myself behind a wall of assumptions. Egad.

You also have to deliver the punch line at the right time. Too fast, too slow, too early or too late and it's game over. That means you have to understand what she's thinking, and responding with, and how she's thinking, and why.

Your job is to lead her to the place in her own mind, body and emotions in which she is ready, willing and able to do what you want to do. To do that, you have to understand her and work with her.

:o

Sounds exasperating.

All humans want, at some level, to have sex with every possible mate. My worry is that you're not going to "meet her half way", but actively seduce her into sex and then claim that "she obviously wanted it too", when she may not have been in full conscious or logical control of herself after her sexual arousal was up.

Well Shannon, the way I am now, you could very well be right, if I had the skill. But I don't. I'm using your subs to get this skill, and these subs are changing the way I see things.

I have no doubt that when I start to get good at this, my mind will have adjusted to be more forgiving and able to see the big picture a little better. All I can do now is respond from where I am.

It is my sincere hope that I will come to a place where I can enjoy the women I want which will hopefully include women that are on the fence or on my side. Seduction takes too much work anyhow, and so I won't do any unnecessary work just to bang a woman who may or may not be able to keep coming back for more. Or, who may be a risk to me (like guns Shannon, no thanks )

I had a girlfriend or two who was faithful to a fault until she was sufficiently aroused in one specific way, and then it was anything goes. With anyone and everyone. Was fine, until someone pushed the right buttons while trying to seduce her, even knowing she was involved. She got hurt badly in the deal, and I didn't fare much better. But jackass was too selfish and stupid to know, understand or care. You have to consider the consequences of your actions, for you, her, and everyone she is involved with and caring for.

So true.

You raise a valid point, and the answer is that I do put the blame equally on the woman. I have always been amazed at how guys act like she's blameless when clearly she either initiated it or at least willingly participated. That's *****. Which is why I have a zero tolerance policy for betrayal. I have been burned too many times with that.

Now then... your age? I'm going to guess you're in your early to mid 20's.

Ah, this is great to read.

And yes sir, you are correct. I am 25 years old. What made you think so?

You certainly can sacrifice your life to have an orgasm, or your safety, or your health, any time you want.

Lol, indeed.

Hmmm. Your ideal and everyone else's may be a little bit at odds. Which could maybe cause some friction.

Happens all the time my friend, all the time.

You are comparing apples to oranges to mislead the argument away from the truth. The truth is, you have the knowledge that your actions have an impact on those around you,

And the gay kid doesn't?

I didn't write all this because I want you to experience what I did.

I know that, thanks Shannon. You've given me some great food for thought, don't hesitate to challenge me any time. No one I know does it in real life, it's refreshing.

If a woman wants to be with me, she acts like it. Otherwise, she is always welcome to leave at any time. I don't try to force anyone to stay with me, and I'd rather she leave than be around if she isn't going to abide by the rules she agreed to when we started the relationship. If that includes her being sexually and romantically faithful to me, then she's not free to both play with others and be with me. So if a woman I claim was to play with you, it would simply be a case of she's not acting like it, so she's not mine anymore. I have no respect for a man who does that, but that was her choice, and my primary beef is with her.

But if you do more than meet her half way... then I have a beef with you specifically, as well as her.

Wait... are you saying you have relations with women where the deal is you can have as many girlfriends as you want but they ALL have to be faithful only to you? How does that work?