Re: Can negative experiences have an impact on the effectiveness of the subliminals?

[P.O.G]

Hi Shannon,

After reading through the forum about other users experience’s with OGHF and general research on fear and shame I have decided to take your advice and purchased it yesterday. But haven't started using it yet but will do ASAP.

Excellent.

Is guilt shame and especially fear often the main root causes for; worry, anxiety, and negative self-belief and similar conscious responses?

Or is worry, anxiety and fear the same thing more or less? So when the fear and shame aspects are removed all of the other accompanying responses that I listed above will also be removed automatically?

My understanding is that worry, anxiety and fear are all different expressions of the same core emotion. Fear. As for what causes the fear, it is variable. Guilt and shame are separate entities, but they tend strongly to tie in with one another and strengthen one another.

Will this help the possible resistance that I am currently facing with OED? 33 days and still not much improvement. I'm confident that OGSF could be the missing link.

I believe it will help you a lot. That's why I recommended it.

My only reserve is losing the good common sense kind of fears that protect me. For example not speaking up or saying certain things in my workplace out of fear for losing my job. Or not revealing or saying certain things to my girlfriend which I fear could impact the relationship. Or even going to areas of the city where I know that I am disliked. These are the kind of fears I wouldn't want to go. Or would common sense prevail and not allow me to do such silly things that I otherwise wouldn't.

There is no such thing as a fear that you need to protect you where you could not be equally well served (or even better served) by simply replacing that fear with common sense or wisdom. It is fear that makes you think you need protection. Your fears are even now trying to protect themselves, by making you afraid to get rid of them.

If you remove guilt, shame and fear, and start expressing yourself more freely, you can do it with wisdom and say what you do (or not say) because you choose to keep your job. You don't need fear for that. Or, you can conclude that the requirements are unreasonable and find a job where those restrictions do not apply. Don't need fear for that either!

As for your girlfriend, I have said it before and I will say it again. Open, honest communication is the single best predictor of a relationship's viability. Where you are keeping secrets or being deceptive (and especially where you are justifying deception by saying it helps the relationship, or downplaying it for what it actually is - e.g. "little white lies"), you are damaging the relationship by making the circumstances for it's survival artificial. When (not if) those lies and deceptions are discovered, it will either kill the relationship, or at the very least, change it. The truth will come out, sooner or later, no matter what you try to do to prevent it.

The only reason you choose to think that deception is acceptable is because you accepted a relationship that may not have been right for you in the first place. If in order to keep a woman I have to lie to her, I am not right for her and she is not right for me. But you have done so because you FEAR that you will be unable to replace her if she leaves. You believe that there are no other women out there who you could get. That is false. On average, a man has reasonable access to about 1,250,000 suitable women from which to choose in his general area.

If you cannot be honest with her, your relationship will sooner or later end. If you are honest with her, and she leaves, your relationship wasn't right for you in the first place. So if she leaves, she has done you the favor of making room for someone who will accept you as you are and stay with you when you are brutally honest with her. Win-win. Kill the fear.

Going to an area of the city where I am disliked would not require fear for me to stay safe. I would either choose not to go there out of the understanding that I may not be safe (wisdom), or I would make sure I could adequately defend myself. No fear necessary.

Fear is never necessary if you have any common sense at all.

When would you recommend that I use the sub? I currently listen to OED for at least 8 hours per day, but try to do more if I can. And work the typical 9-5 hours so am not sure how I would fit this in as well.

Listen to one for 8 hours at night, and one while you can during the day. Give priority to killing fear.

My goals of this are to remove the following;

Fear/shame of not getting it up
Fear/shame of maintaining keeping it up
Fear/shame of not being good enough
Fear/shame of not satisfying my partner
Fear of intimacy and intercourse
Guilt of letting such a small experience spiral almost of control and consume my thinking since then.

Are those reasonable goals? I just want to get back to how I was prior to the incident

You don't need goals. Just relax and allow the program to do it's thing.

I ask too many questions and write too much, sorry Shannon.

You are simply afraid. Fear knows me well. I understand. No apologies necessary. Use the OGSF program (by itself if necessary) and keep going.

Shannon,

I have pretty much free of ED for a while now. Up until yesterday when I had another bad experience that has played on my mind since (as it did the first time stated in this thread) and then another one today.

After months of being ED free and engaging in loads of intercourse with my girlfriend, we had a weekend out of town in a hotel. We had intercourse in the afternoon perfectly fine which was amazing as per usual, the in the evening time I couldn't perform, which worried me, but I wasn't under pressure as my girlfriend was tired, and it was me whom initiated it so it was ok (but still on my mind). Then again in the morning before we checked out we attempted sex. It was difficult to get an erection but i managed to get one that was hard enough for sex, and we did, which was ok. But this played in my mind big time, then when we tried to have sex this Morning I couldn't get or maintain one, and my previous nervous and anxious feelings had returned along with my negative thoughts in a big way.

I started using ASC about 2 weeks ago to give me full and complete sexual confidence as I still had occasional negative self talk and thoughts and wanted to remove these completely. Could the sub have caused this to happen? I feel like I have taken a complete u-turn. Should I run OED again (though I am not sure this had much positive influence on me)?

Why is this happening again?
How soon can I try OED again as I have started ASC and still currently using it?
I dont believe that OED helped me much the first time at all, but maybe this 2 week usage of ASC will improve results?